So You’ve Been Tainted by the Unknowable Far Realms

Odds are, you were born near the Black Sands. Or, possibly, your mother travelled too close to the Black Sands during her pregnancy. Or you were born to parents who were Tainted themselves. Or maybe none of that happened, and you’re just the one in ten thousand people who were born Tainted despite not being anywhere near the Black Sands. The point is, you have the Tainted template.

“Tainted” is an inherited template that must be applied at birth / character creation. It can be applied to Aberrations, Animals, Dragons, Humanoids, Magical Beasts, Monstrous Humanoids, and Vermin. However, almost all Tainted creatures are humanoid; the other creature types listed above are possible, but extremely rare.

CR: +1

ECL: +1

Size and Type: Your size is the same as a standard member of your species. However, your type is now Aberration. No, this doesn’t change your saves, hit dice, or skills. Put down that d8.

Special Attacks: True strike 1/day

Special Qualities: If you have a familiar or animal companion as a class feature, they must be a Tainted member of that species.

Also, you must roll on the Tainted table in the presence of the GM. Before you begin rolling, you must choose one of the following options:

• Roll twice. You have both of those qualities, with no option to reroll.
• Roll three times. You have the option to reroll one of the resulting properties.
• Choose one property from any of the Tainted subtables. You have that property. Roll five additional times, with no option to reroll.
• Choose one property from any of the Tainted subtables. You have that property. Roll once on each of the other Tainted subtables. You have the option to reroll one of the resulting properties.

You may only have one property from each Tainted subtable -- so if you roll “Diet” twice, do not roll a second time on the “Diet” subtable. Reroll that die.

If two of your Tainted properties contradict each other or are mutually exclusive, you may reroll one of them -- if the GM agrees that they are contradictory.

Tainted Table (Base)

01-07	Roll on Eyes
08-17	Roll on Mouth
18-24	Roll on Head
25-34	Roll on Limbs
35-55	Roll on Body
56-62	Roll on Diet
63-64	Roll on Sleeping Habits
65-66	Roll on Breath
67-73	Roll on Mental
74-89	Roll on Miscellaneous
90-100	Roll twice on this table

Eyes

01-07	Antennae instead of eyes -- technically blind, but you get Blindsight as a free feat.
08-13	Cat eyes.
14-19	Compound eyes.
20-25	Cuttlefish eyes.
26-32	Eyestalks: +1 to Spot.
33-36	Gaze attack as Blindheim. Unfortunately, you can't switch it off. You might want to wear a blindfold when you're around people.
37-41	Instead of eyes, you have a hole in your head the size of your fist that seems to open onto the blackness of space. Looking at it makes people dizzy. A natural wall of force keeps stuff from falling in. Oddly enough, you can see just fine.
42-47	One eye, cyclops-style.
48-53	Roll on the Eyes table again. The result is the only aspect of your appearance people can remember.
54-60	Six eyes clustered at front of face.
61-66	Third eye on forehead, fully functional
67-72	Third eye on forehead, nonfunctional
73-77	Third eye on forehead, seems functional but definitely does not transmit information to your brain.
78-84	You have 1d8 extra eyes scattered all over your body. None of your eyes are on your head.
85-89	You have no eyes, but it’s cool, because each dawn the closest Diminutive or smaller animal/vermin comes and perches on your shoulder. You can see through its eyes for the rest of the day. You can send it sneaking about spying for you if you want, but its eyes glow bright green, so it’s kind of conspicuous. At dusk, it wanders off.
90-95	Your eyes are large & bulging, and set on the sides of your neck.
96-100	Your eyes are not attached to you -- instead, they hover a few inches away from your body, and slowly drift in circles around you. You can control their movement if you consciously think about it, but you can't send them more than three inches away.

Mouth

01-03	Beak.
04-07	Chitinous segmented tongue.
08-11	Hallucinogenic saliva.
12-14	Insect mandibles instead of mouth. You can’t cast verbal spells or speak coherently (bet you learned to write at an impressive speed, though) -- but you get a 1d8 bite attack.
15-18	Lamprey-like mouths on your palms.
19-22	Light pours from your mouth whenever you speak.
23-25	Long, thin, prehensile tongue; can wield additional light weapon with -2 penalty (on top of any other relevant penalties); 5% chance of arcane spell failure when verbal components are involved.
26-29	Mouth can distend like a snake's.
30-32	Mouth can distend like a snake's, and you have the Swallow Whole ability.
33-36	Mouth full of long, thin fangs. Anglerfish fangs. So long they look like they can't possibly fit in your head. Your mouth distends impressively when you open it.
37-39	No mouth. Can’t speak, can’t cast verbal spells, can totally photosynthesize.
40-43	No teeth -- you suck food through a quartet of stiff proboscii that resemble fangs.
44-47	No teeth, inconveniently small mouth. Cannot eat solid food, super good at lapping up nutritious soup with tongue.
48-50	Prehensile teeth. Or possibly a mouthful of thin, bone-colored tentacles about three inches long that can snap into a rigid position and chew food when necessary. Same difference.
51-54	Radula.
55-57	Spit contact poison 1/day. 1d4 Constitution damage, save DC = your Constitution score
58-60	Spit sovereign glue 1/week.
61-63	There’s a tiny mouth on the nape of your neck. You have no control over it. Sometimes it whispers to you.
64-66	Venomous bite, as Medium spider.
67-69	Very large mouth takes up most of the space between your sternum and your pelvis. No mouth on your head.
70-73	You have 1d4 extra mouths. None of your mouths are on your head.
74-77	You have a pair of mandibles at the back of your throat. They are both visible and audible when you speak.
78-81	You have seven long, thin tongues. They don’t quite fit in your mouth and tend to stick out the sides.
82-85	Your mouth is set vertically in your face rather than the normal horizontal configuration.
86-89	Your mouth is vertically oriented, and runs from your chin to the back of your head. Any eyes on the front of your face are moved to the sides of your head, and your brain is somewhere in your torso.
90-93	Your mouth wraps entirely around your head -- you open it by causing the top of your head to levitate a few inches with no visible means of support.
94-96	Your saliva is saturated with dark reaver powder. Luckily, you are also immune to dark reaver powder.
97-100	Your teeth are thick wedges of translucent keratin instead of bone. They require regular trimming.

Head

01-04	All facial features replaced by forest of tiny wriggling tendrils. No verbal spells, yes blindsight, yes constant creepy quiet whistling noises.
05-09	Batlike ears.
10-14	Born with no brain -- skull contains hundreds of tiny translucent silverfish operating as a hive mind. You are completely unaware of this condition, since you have no way of checking inside your head, so you generally behave normally. Unfortunately, you make the occasional social misstep due to a different set of natural instincts: -2 on Diplomacy. In addition, spells that target vermin tend to temporarily screw up your brain-bugs.
15-18	Instead of a normal nose, you are covered in crater-like nostrils (one every few inches or so, distribution apparently random). About once a minute or so, a tentacle shoots out of one and writhes around for a bit -- this is how you breathe. It’s really hard to suffocate you, but you also creep people the hell out.
19-23	Microcephalic; -2 Int
24-29	Neck frill.
30-33	No neck -- head hovers a few inches above body. You can rotate your head 360 degrees with ease.
34-37	No nose -- you breathe through a pair of wide, squat tubes on the sides of your neck.
38-41	Rivulets of fine black sand trickle constantly from all of your facial orifices.
42-45	The entire top half of your skull has been replaced by huge curling ram horns. (You assume your brain is in there somewhere, though.) You can use them to do 1d8 damage on a charge. Your nose & mouth had to be shifted down to make room for them, and your eyes are moved to your chin if they were still on the front of your face. Oh, and you have a really muscular neck to hold those horns up. FYI.
46-50	The top of your skull has a ring of working fingers around it that form the appearance of a crown.
51-55	Thin spires of bone protrude from the top of your skull to form the appearance of a crown.
56-59	You have a second head. It does not have a mind of its own, but the extra brain mass gives you a +2 Int.
60-63	You have a second head. It’s fully developed, and has a mind of its own. It’s also an animal’s head, not a humanoid one. It has standard animal intelligence. Player can choose which animal.
64-67	You have a second head. It’s fully developed, and moves around under your control. (There is not a second mind in the head.)
68-72	You have a second head. It’s vestigial and underdeveloped; it doesn’t move or do anything; it’s just there.
73-81	You have the brainworms. Yes, that means worms live in your brain. Take a 1d6 penalty to Wisdom. No, killing the worms doesn’t get your Wisdom score back, because they’ve already hollowed out little burrows for themselves.
82-86	Your hair grows by 18 inches every day, then falls out at night.
87-91	Your head is stretched vertically into a four-foot-long tentacle. Your facial features are still present.
92-95	Your neck is three feet long. There's an elbow-like joint about halfway up that lets you bend your head forward.
96-100	Your nose is replaced with a cluster of tentacles.

Limbs

01-04	1d12 pairs of vestigial humanoid legs on torso.
05-08	1d12 pairs of vestigial insectoid legs on torso.
09-12	1d12 pairs of vestigial tentacles on torso.
13-15	1d12 pairs of working humanoid legs on torso.
16-18	1d12 pairs of working insectoid legs on torso.
19-22	1d12 pairs of working tentacles on torso.
23-25	1d12 tentacles instead of legs.
26-29	1d4 extra fingers & toes (roll separately for each limb)
30-32	1d4 of your limbs are shriveled, useless, and constantly covered in some sort of tarry substance. Player can pick which limbs.
33-36	Birdlike legs.
37-40	Centaur-style body plan, but instead of a horse, your lower half resembles a house centipede.
41-44	Centaur-style body plan, but instead of a horse, your lower half resembles a silverfish.
45-48	Centaur-style body plan, but instead of a horse, your lower half resembles an earthworm.
49-51	Double normal number of legs. Arranged in radially symmetrical manner.
52-54	Fingernails replaced with barbed stings -- 1d4 extra unarmed damage.
55-57	Legs atrophied and useless; you float a foot above the ground at all times.
58-60	Long, thin, transparent claws can unfold out of your mouth (giving you two 1d4 claw attacks). If you have no mouth, they come out of some other orifice. No, not that one.
61-63	No arms; Mage Hand at will.
64-66	Replace one arm with large insect leg. 1d6 claw attack, can’t do anything that requires two hands with opposable thumbs.
67-69	Rugose cone-foot replaces legs.
70-72	Vestigial insect wings. Way too small to fly, way too big for you to cover them up with clothing. (They’re very tender -- compressing them is quite painful.) Player can choose what type of insect the wings resemble.
73	Working insect wings -- 10 ft. Fly speed (poor maneuverability). Player can choose what type of insect the wings resemble.
74-77	You moult regularly. Replace your normal aging process with Tainted Ecdysis (see attached table).
78-80	Your hands and feet resemble those of a tarsier: +1 to Climb.
81-84	Your legs are half as long as normal, and you move at half speed. However, your arms are twice as long as normal, doubling your natural reach.
85-88	Your legs are withered and weak, but your arms are disproportionately large. You have to knuckle-walk to move at normal speed, and you cannot do anything that requires you to stand and use both hands. However, you get a +2 Strength for your absurdly burly arms.
89-91	Your legs bend the wrong way.
92-94	Your limbs are thin and spindly; -2 Str
95-97	Your limbs are twisted and malformed; -2 Dex
98-100	Your limbs branch into two at the elbow, knee, or other halfway point.

Body

01-02	10 ft. Burrow speed. You secrete a slimy substance like a worm to aid in this.
03-04	A cluster of 2d12 small tentacles (about a foot long) can be found on your… [roll 1d6. 1: shoulder 2: knee 3: chest 4: neck 6: spine]
05-06	All of your bodily fluids are replaced with quicksilver. It can be used for magical or alchemical purposes, but you have to purify the hell out of it first, lest you inadvertently open portals to places where you really don’t want to go.
07-08	Amorphous -- though your "default" shape is whatever the other rolls indicate, you can, at will, revert to an amoeba-like shape and ooze around. You are immune to sneak attacks and critical hits when you do this.
09-10	Covered in cilia. They keep you clean and occasionally pass morsels of food into your mouth. They do so completely autonomically.
11-12	Covered in dozens of small spinnerets. They spin cobwebs whether you want them to or not. You tend to wake up inside cocoon-like structures.
13-14	Covered in protruding veins.
15-16	Covered in thick, thick fur. Totally comfortable with non-magical cold; take heat penalties if it is over 60 degrees Fahrenheit.
17	Every part of you except your head, hands, and feet is invisible, intangible, inaudible and otherwise undetectable. You get bonuses to AC and Stealth as if you were two size categories smaller. (These bonuses can be negated -- if someone tries to hit you with a ghost touch weapon, you don't get this special AC bonus; if you're trying to sneak past something that can see invisibility, you don't get the stealth bonus, etc.)
18-19	Every so often, something twitches or wriggles under your skin.
20	Exoskeleton -- you are always considered to be wearing full plate.
21-22	Exoskeleton -- you are always considered to be wearing half plate.
23-24	Exoskeleton -- you are always considered to be wearing leather armor.
25	Gelatinous skeletal structure: you gain the "compression" special ability.
26-27	Gelid flesh -- can squeeze through spaces as if one size category smaller.
28-29	Hair replaced with chitinous tendrils. Yes, that includes body hair and facial hair. Yes, they grow at a normal hair-growth rate. Cutting them hurts like hell. They spasm uncontrollably at all times.
30-31	Hair replaced with chitinous tendrils. Yes, that includes body hair and facial hair. Yes, they grow at a normal hair-growth rate. Cutting them hurts like hell. You have complete control over their movement.
32-34	Hollow bones -- you weigh half as much and take a -2 penalty to Con.
35-36	If any of your bodily fluids fall on the ground, the next day, strange thorny plants will grow there.
37-38	Infested by symbiotic insects. 1d6 Con damage per day if they are killed off. Generally creep everybody out if they aren’t.
39-40	Insectoid abdomen.
41	Killing you would take a lot of work. Your skull is made of adamantine, and whatever is inside it (you assume brains, but who knows, right) can grow an entire body back from nothing. If you die, your body decays into goo within 24 hours, leaving just your metal skull & contents thereof. Your body grows back in 3d4 days, then comes back to life. Downside: you have to roll twice more on this table in addition to whatever you've already got (you get another reroll, though). 50% chance this whole sordid drama has already happened to you 1d4 times by the time the campaign begins. Oh, and if someone knows about your condition, they can totally kill you by just waiting for your body to decay then stabbing through your foramen magnum, so don't get too cocky.
42-43	Long arms and legs, flat ray-like body (no gills or sting, yes mouth on bottom and eyes on top). You crawl around in a manner not unlike a tree frog and have a climb speed equal to your walking speed.
44-45	Mushrooms grow on your skin. 25% chance a given mushroom is poisonous, 10% chance it is hallucinogenic, 0% chance it is tasty.
46-47	Occasionally, tiny faces appear in relief on your skin, as if very small people were trapped inside you and were trying to push their heads out to the air. Usually they look humanoid, but not always.
48-49	Radial symmetry.
50-51	Spots on your skin shift color with your mood.
52-53	Thick black blood
54-55	Transparent skin.
56-57	Twisted, hunched, and asymmetrical. Half movement speed.
58-59	Unusual body chemistry: you are immune to all poisons, but you find the following category of mundane items toxic. (Roll 1d6: 1 -- fruit (ingestion), 2 -- wood (injury), 3 -- silver (contact), 4 -- fungus (contact), 5 -- gemstones (contact), 6 -- fish (ingestion))
60	Whenever your blood is outside your body, there is a 10% chance it animates and crawls away like an ooze.
61-62	You are incapable of storing fat. As a result, you appear skeletally emaciated, and starvation affects you much more dramatically -- skip right to the "lethal damage" phase.
63-64	You are one size category larger than you would be otherwise. You look swollen and disproportionate.
65-66	You are one size category smaller than you would be otherwise. You look withered and shriveled.
67-68	You are poisonous, i.e., anything that eats part of you has to make a Fortitude save DC 10+ your Con score or take 2d4 Con damage.
69-70	You are totally squamous.
71	You are two size categories smaller than you would be otherwise, and you have a second, identical body. You can control both bodies simultaneously with ease -- basically you are a very small hive mind. Your two bodies cannot move more than five feet away from each other; if someone else forces them apart, you fall unconscious until this is corrected. If one is killed, the other goes into a coma until it is raised.
72	You are two size categories smaller than you would be otherwise. Once a week, you can burrow into the skull of any creature two or more size categories larger than you and control the body’s motions. The creature has to be alive but at negative hit points when you do this, and it decays too much to keep working after 1d6 days (roll separately each time you do this.
73-74	You can curl up like a pillbug / roly poly / giant isopod. You also have segmented plates on your back like said animals. +1 natural armor.
75-76	You exude foul-smelling black slime from all your pores constantly.
77-78	You exude foul-smelling black slime from all your pores when asleep.
79-80	You have an overlapping pattern of bioluminescent rings all over your body. Player can choose what color they are. -5 to Hide.
81-82	You have no skin; instead, you exude a mud-like substance to protect your internal organs. Water tends to wash it away, so you take a temporary -2 penalty to Con during the rain, and a -4 penalty for 24 hours after any time you are fully immersed in liquid.
83-84	You put down literal roots if you stay in the same place for an hour or more. You only need to eat ¼ of what you would if you didn’t get nutrition from the ground. Unfortunately, it hurts like hell to get up in the morning because you have to snap off all the roots that grew during the night. Or, you know, just stay there and see if you can get people to bring you snacks.
85-86	You shed your skin once a month.
87-88	You smell like death: -1 penalty to Charisma.
89-90	Your body is bloated and pustulent. It’s not fat… it looks more like you’re full of tumors. This does not seem to pose a health risk.
91	Your skin always takes on the color and texture of the last thing you ate.
92-93	Your skin and hair resemble that of a juvenile aye-aye.
94-95	Your skin is one size category too large. It sags off of you and constantly gets in the way. -2 Dex penalty, +2 natural armor.
96	Your skin resembles twisted, blackened wood. Half move speed, -2 Dex penalty, +5 natural armor.
97-98	Your teeth and nails are made of cold-forged iron. Well, okay, technically they were grown, not forged, but they have all the properties of cold-forged iron.
99-100	Your torso is twice as long as it should be, and can bend and twist like a worm’s.

Diet

01-06	Alcohol is like acid to you.
07-12	Consume metal as rust monster.
13-17	Mosquito-like proboscis coiled at back of throat. Once a week, you must drain large quantities of blood from a warm-blooded creature. The process takes an hour and leaves you too bloated to fit into your armor for one day. Otherwise, you don’t need to eat.
18-23	Obligate cannibal.
24-29	Obligate carnivore.
30-34	You are always hungry. So, so hungry. You require quadruple rations, but you can eat anything flammable.
35-40	You can only sustain yourself on a diet of the still-beating hearts of birds. Naturally, this involves vivisecting at least one bird a day at mealtimes. Packing rations is very difficult, and fancy dinner parties are generally out.
41-45	You can taste and smell emotions, but otherwise have no sense of smell or taste. +4 to Sense Motive.
46-50	You cannot extract nutrition from food unless it died in agony.
51-55	You do not eat, but instead gain energy directly from increasing localized entropy. The best way to do this, for your purposes, is to take something elaborate, complicated, & artificially constructed, and then smashing it to dust. You have to do this once per day. Your equivalent of "trail rations" is basically a sack of cheap objets d'art and a hammer.
56-60	The exact reverse of the above. In order to sustain your existence, you have to spend 2 hours each day crafting complex and elegant artificial structures out of whatever comes to hand. Scrimshaw, architecture, painting... whatever.
61-65	You don’t need to eat -- once per day, you draw sustenance from the soil. The process takes roughly an hour, and turns about a cubic foot of soil into fine black sand.
66-70	You eat memories. Once a week, you have to come into skin-to-skin contact with a sapient being for thirty seconds and eat one day of their memories. They will pass out and awaken with no memories of the last twenty-four hours. The process is in no way seamless -- they’ll definitely notice the missing day. You do not eat otherwise.
71-75	You eat names. In order to eat someone’s name, you must maintain skin-to-skin contact with them for half an hour. They must be both sapient and alive. When you are finished, neither they nor anyone else (except you) remember their name. If they die before the month is out, you have to feed again within a day. You do not eat otherwise.
76-80	You feed on suffering. Once a week, you have to spend one hour causing a sapient being significant physical or emotional pain. You do not eat otherwise.
81-85	You have a second stomach. You can control whether stuff you swallow goes into it, which is important because it works differently. Anything in your second stomach is kept alive (and aware) if you bit it off something that hadn't been dead for more than two minutes. You digest it over the course of a month. Yes, this means you can save on raise dead by biting off your buddy's thumb and bringing it to someone who can cast regenerate & doesn't mind mutants who vomit body parts at him. Your buddy's going to be fully conscious and aware the whole time, though, so he takes 1 point of Wisdom drain for every day you spend digesting him.
86-90	You only eat live animals/vermin. Swallowed whole.
91-95	You only eat live plants. Right out of the ground.
96-100	You only eat tree bark. You need lots of it, though -- your daily rations weigh twice as much.

Sleeping Habits

01-12	When you sleep, a shadowy form with glowing eyes, roughly the size of a housecat, climbs out of your mouth and stares unnervingly at anyone nearby. Its origin and motives are unknown, and it only shows up when you’re unconscious, so you’ve never seen it yourself.
13-24	Whenever you are asleep, anyone else sleeping within 100 ft. of you has a 10% chance of horrible nightmares that involve a colossal version of you cackling maniacally. You tend to get unpopular in towns really soon.
25-37	You can only sleep if you are hanging upside down. You have prehensile feet to facilitate this.
38-50	You cannot sleep above ground. If there is no subterranean space available to you, you must burrow into the earth.
51-63	You cannot sleep within 500 feet of artificially cultivated plants.
64-75	You don't sleep; you are powered by the dreams of children. This might sound kind of cutesy, but here's how that goes down. This incorporeal rat-monkey-thing lives in your head, where you are constantly aware of it perusing its collection of dreams -- meaning that, literally in the back of your mind, there are surreal dreamscapes running through your thoughts. Anyway, every night at midnight, rat-monkey climbs out of your head, runs off to the nearest sleeping child, and climbs into its head. The kid wakes up somewhat traumatized, and you feel quite refreshed. Rat-monkey then comes back to your head with new dreams for its collection. It scampers like hell, so it can cover about 100 miles in a night. If rat-monkey is killed while it's outside your head, you spend 1d4 weeks catatonic while a new one coalesces inside your brain.
76-87	You don’t sleep. However, you have to spend eight hours a day standing perfectly still while weird ethereal tendrils extrude from your face and collect… something… from the air. If you move during this process, the tendrils freak the hell out. You take 1d4 Con damage and have to start all over. Failing to do this means you are treated as though you have not slept.
88-100	You take gelatinous form when sleeping.

Breath

01-11	Breath weapon 1/day -- player can choose the breath weapon of any wyrmling dragon at character creation.
12-24	Complex network of cartilaginous tubes in respiratory system constantly produces eerie music at the edge of hearing.
25-36	Exhale insanity mist 1/day, save DC = your Constitution score.
37-49	Gills -- take the Aquatic subtype and the Amphibious special quality.
50-62	You don’t breathe, but you do have to eat a pound of rust every day.
63-75	You don’t have to breathe, but you do have to drink a cup of tears harvested from a sapient creature daily.
76-87	You exhale a vapor with addictive properties.
88-100	You exhale sulfuric gas.

Mental

01-06	5% chance of interrupting any conversation in which you are a participant with uncontrollable, somewhat sinister, laughter.
07-12	Compulsive liar -- introduce elaborate falsehoods into every conversation.
13-18	Obsessive stargazing, astrology-based decision process.
19-24	Other people always know when you are saying their name.
25-30	Relentless cheer and optimism regardless of the situation.
31-36	Sense of humor based entirely on horrifying cruelty.
37-43	Unable to recognize value of sapient life.
44-49	Uncontrollable glossolalia several times a day. (GM is encouraged to roll for it whenever glossolalia would be inconvenient -- 10% chance.)
50-55	You always know when someone is saying your name.
56-61	You are incapable of causing physical harm to anyone who knows your name.
62-67	You are incapable of intentionally breaking an oath.
68-73	You cannot tell lies.
74-81	You fail to understand the concepts of good and evil on a basic level, and are generally completely divorced from accepted humanoid morality. In a world full of ethical shades of gray, you are... orange. Seriously, your alignment is [Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic] Orange. Write that down. May or may not lead to hilariously tragic misunderstandings. Have fun roleplaying it.
82-87	You have an instinctual understanding of the Runes of Thuurrlmn. If you are not an arcane spellcaster, choose 1d4 cantrips off of the spell list of an arcane spellcaster. Once a day, you can cast one of those by spending one minute carefully drawing runic diagrams. If you are an arcane spellcaster, you can integrate the Runes of Thuurlm into your item creation, and thus increase the effective caster level of the item you are making to whatever number you want. However, this takes much longer -- double the item creation time for each caster level above your own.
88-94	You have no sense of humor. This doesn’t just mean you’re boring -- you cannot comprehend, recognize, or intentionally produce humor of any sort.
95-100	You know, instinctually, certain runes and symbols that, when carved into the face of a dead humanoid, cause its eyes to animate and crawl away as very small oozes. They don’t pay any attention to you or listen to what you have to say, but you can make them as long as you have a knife, a corpse, and about ten minutes.

Miscellaneous

01-02	A large illusionary creature seems to follow you around. It takes great pains to hide itself, so usually nobody notices and you’ve never gotten a good description of it. Sometimes people just see something in the distance… or watching them through a window… now that you think about it, you only think it’s illusionary.
03-05	All of your voluntary motions are accompanied by flickers of green fire.
06-08	Birds HATE you.
09-10	Compel Hostility at will.
11-13	Conflict tends to happen in your presence. All Diplomacy and Bluff checks made while you are observing are at a -5 penalty.
14-16	Direct sunlight causes you excruciating pain and 1 damage per round.
17-18	Every night at midnight, every animal (Int 1-2) within a mile’s radius of you howls, bleats, or otherwise loudly vocalizes for exactly twenty-three seconds. It took you an embarrassingly long time to figure out that this wasn’t just what animals did.
19-20	Every time you enter a building, there is a 3% chance the walls start bleeding.
21-23	Irritating buzzing noise accompanies you everywhere you go.
24-26	Light sensitivity.
27-28	Like a crow with a golden tongue, you have an unfortunate compulsion to speak in gnomic simile & metaphor.
29-30	Mindless undead like you. If you come within fifty feet of them, they drop what they’re doing and follow you around like puppies. Like large, skeletal, mindlessly vicious puppies who won’t let anyone else near you under pain of being rent to shreds. They don’t listen to you at all, but their creator can call them off if they feel like it.
31-33	Mirrors don’t work when you’re within 100 ft.
34-36	Once a month, you spontaneously generate 1d4 thin white worms with six rows of translucent cilia. They crawl out of your mouth (or other orifice if you have no mouth) and burrow into the ground nearby. You may or may not be aware that they do this in order to spend the next year growing and molting. When they emerge, they are six inches long, have a thick exoskeleton, and dozens of razor-sharp claws. They will seek out a sapient being, burrow into their flesh, and spend the next five years growing into new Tainted, who are technically your biological children. The "hatching" process is definitely fatal to the host.
37-38	Putrefy Food and Drink at will.
39-40	Rats are constantly going out of their way to try and eat you. They think you smell delicious.
41-42	Sometimes your shadow detaches itself and wanders off. It doesn’t do anything, but people tend to not like it much.
43-44	Suggestion as a spell-like ability.
45-47	Swarms of harmless but annoying insects gather whenever you stay in one place overnight.
48-49	The taint of the Far Realms had a particularly unfortunate effect on you when you were in the womb -- the mutations it provoked in your body turned out to be non-survivable, and you were stillborn. You weren't allowed to get off that easily, though, and you're still kind of alive. Kind of. You look a bit like a zombie fetus, to be honest. It's not pretty, but you can still walk and whatnot. Take the Unbreathing subtype and reduce your size to Diminutive. Since the reason you ended up like this was because of serious physical deformities, roll on the Head and Body tables if you haven't already, and reroll if you get a result that doesn't indicate an obvious physical deformity.
50-51	Though you may or may not be horrifically squamous and tentacular, there's just something about you. Every time you meet a humanoid you have not met before, there is a 1% chance of them falling desperately in love with you.
52-53	When you die, the ground directly below you is tainted by the Far Realms, and children in the area will start being born Tainted.
54-55	You are invisible to living beings in their first year of life, with the exception of outsiders and aberrations.
56-57	You are supernaturally beautiful. Even if your other rolls on this table make you a half-worm monster with mandibles, you pull it off somehow. +2 Cha.
58-59	You are supernaturally hideous -- whatever other symptoms of your tainted status you have are much, much worse-looking than they should be. If your other rolls on this table have no cosmetic effects, the player should assign some sort of mundane deformity; for some reason, it’s exaggerated in the minds of everyone who sees you. -2 Cha.
60-61	You can cast ethereal jaunt once per week. Except you don't go to the Ethereal Plane, but a different, previously unheard-of, overlapping plane. Things live there. They're hungry. Each time you do it, 10% chance something tries to eat you. GM is encouraged to generate a stack of random monsters with varied CRs for this purpose.
62-64	You can hover up to three feet off the ground.
65-67	You can plant anything -- i.e., anything you bury in the ground puts forth shoots within a month. No guarantees on what grows out of it, though. GMs are encouraged to come up with their own sufficiently insane method of deciding at random.
68-70	You can produce 1 gallon of amber-colored resin a day. You have to eat/otherwise absorb twice as much each day you do this, though.
71-72	You can see bits and pieces of the ethereal plane. You have no way of distinguishing between ethereal stuff and material stuff without actually touching it.
73-75	You can squirt ink from an orifice in the small of your back.
76-77	You cannot perceive any of the colors others can. You’re not colorblind, though -- you see an entirely different range of color.
78-80	You carry a disease (player may choose from the rulebook) that can be spread by clawing or biting. Your travelling companions have to make monthly fortitude saves to avoid contracting it through prolonged proximity.
81-83	You corrode metal on contact.
84-85	You have a song in your heart. By which I mean your heart is literally singing. It produces eerie chanting in no particular language audible to anyone standing within ten feet of you.
86-88	You lay monthly batches of 1d12 eggs. (May result in some gender confusion if you are male.) If you have been -- ahem -- fertilized recently, each egg has a 75% chance of hatching into your biological children. If you haven’t, each egg has a 1% chance of spontaneous teratogenesis. Whatever comes out isn’t related to you by blood, and may or may not be harmless. Technically, each egg has enough nutrition to qualify as a day’s rations, but the idea of eating your eggs is viscerally horrifying to you, and you have to make a DC 20 Will save to force yourself to do it in desperate circumstances. Others may or may not have a moral problem with it, but the eggs do taste strongly of carrion.
89-91	You naturally grow small cysts inside your body. They do not harm you, but there is a 1% chance each day that one of them hatches and 1d12 creatures unknown to science crawl out of your mouth & wander off. If you forget to roll the d% chance yourself, the GM is encouraged to roll it whenever it would be incredibly inconvenient for you.
92-94	Your footprints do not match your feet. Not even close. Player can decide what their footprints look like during character creation.
95-97	Your shadow leaves smears of blood. Small ones, hard to notice. The blood isn’t human.
98-100	Your touch rots any vegetable matter -- plants get saving throw at GM’s discretion.

Credit to Monster Manual Sewn From Pants for some of these ideas.