D100 Table: Magical Mishaps

The following list of magical mishaps can be incorporated into any sort of spell-misfire table you happen to be using in your campaign -- I was thinking of possible results if someone tries to cast a spell beyond their normal capabilities and fails a caster level check, but it could really fit anywhere. I would recommend incorporating it into an existing table as a Really Bad Result -- like, usually the spell fails or backfires or acquires a random metamagic descriptor or something, but if things go badly wrong or the spell is WAY out of the caster's league, you roll on this table instead.

Art by Brian Snoddy, from the M:tG card “Backfire".

Unless otherwise stated, it is assumed that the spell does not go off.

Unless otherwise stated, lingering effects on the caster can be dispelled by break enchantment or similar, but only if break enchantment is being cast by a spellcaster of exceptionally high level. (I suggest twice the level that the caster was at when they suffered their arcane misfire.)

1. A dozen frightened doves erupt from the caster's hands.
2. A nearby inanimate object of the GM's choice gains the power of movement, superhuman intelligence, and a deep hatred of the caster & caster's companions. This should not be immediately apparent -- the object will bide its time and strike when it seems most likely to prevail.
3. A random NPC within 100ft gains a spark of the divine, and may ascend to godhood at some point in the future, or after death.
4. A terrifying fountain of pure magical energy shoots out of the top of caster's head and into the atmosphere. Nobody within a day's travel of caster can use spells, spell-like abilities, or magic items until the next sunrise.
5. All animals and vermin within 100ft of caster are Awakened; random alignments and attributes.
6. All containers near caster (especially caster's pockets, bags, &c.) tend to generate small, ill-tempered animals at inopportune times.
7. All of caster's acquaintances, PC and NPC alike, must roll under their Wisdom the next time they see caster; on a failure, they forget who caster is.
8. All of caster's prepared spells go off simultaneously, aimed at random targets.
9. All of caster's prepared spells go off simultaneously, aimed at random targets. So do all of the prepared spells of every other spellcaster in the area. This includes spell-like abilities. GM is encouraged to define “the area" in a broad and liberal fashion.
10. All of caster's prepared spells go off simultaneously, targeting caster.
11. All water caster touches turns to blood.
12. Any Small-, Medium-, or Large-sized, non-sapient, pregnant vertebrates caster passes within 50 ft of will produce offspring that are half-[caster's species], obviously resemble caster, and have 3d6 intelligence.

    

    ....fffffffather?

13. Anything caster comes in contact with ages at a rapid pace, decaying and becoming useless in short order.
14. At night, all insects behave as though caster is emitting bright light. No actual light is visible.
15. Caster acquires a huge, visible, highly-distinctive scar; caster distinctly remembers, with 100% certainty, that said scar is the result of a fight with a dragon several years ago.
16. Caster acquires a series of subtle tics and unusual compulsions that any experienced priest will recognize as classic signs of demonic possession. Caster is not actually possessed.
17. Caster acquires crippling phobia of [roll d12 -- 1: the moon, 2: buildings, 3: smooth pebbles, 4: gold, 5: the secret plans of the moth-folk, 6: snails, 7: flowers, 8: the color blue, 9: right angles, 10: religion, 11: possible invasions from the distant future, 12: writing].
18. Caster acquires lycanthropy. At the full moon, caster becomes a [roll 1d12 -- 1: hyena, 2: small lizard, 3: toad, 4: mule, 5: rhinoceros, 6: armadillo, 7: koala, 8: panda, 9: porcupine, 10: skunk, 11: giant tortoise, 12: platypus]. Caster has no control over the change; when under the effects of the full moon, GM takes control of character; animal form has opposite alignment of caster, but same knowledge and mental abilities.

    

    The number of stock images available for evil lizards is... unusual.

19. Caster and everyone within 100 ft. is shrunk to 1/100th of their current size. 
20. Caster appears faceless for the next 1d12 weeks.
21. Caster can make one wish -- however, player has exactly ten out-of-game seconds to formulate said wish and say it aloud. Starting now. GM is encouraged to twist the wish as much as possible. If caster does not make a wish, then the wish passes to the nearest sapient creature who opposes the caster.
22. Caster can no longer perceive sunlight.
23. Caster develops an obsession with constructing, then inhabiting, a vast underground complex.
24. Caster develops intense fear of the light.
25. Caster forgets the last 24 hours.
26. Caster forgets the next 24 hours.
27. Caster freezes in place, stares straight up, and screams at the top of their lungs. This behavior continues, without so much as a pause for breath, for the next 24 hours. The volume steadily increases this entire time; it is audible for miles around; people standing too close will be deafened.
28. Caster gains 1 minor mutation from the Tainted table. (GM may reroll at their discretion.)
29. Caster gains 1 medium mutation from the Tainted table. (GM may reroll at their discretion.)
30. Caster gains 1 major mutation from the Tainted table. (GM may reroll at their discretion.)
31. Caster gains sense of magnetism -- they can now perceive magnetic fields.
32. Caster gains ten ranks in Knowledge (Things Man Was Not Meant to Know). Whenever any player rolls a Knowledge check, caster must roll Knowledge (TMWNMtK) and gain bizarre insights into the workings of the world that the GM is encouraged to make as insane as possible while still being related to the other Knowledge check being made. If the player gets an unmodified roll of 15 or above, they take 1d6 Wisdom damage; on a natural 20, they permanently lose 1 point of Wisdom.
33. Caster gains the ability to see all the things that normal people subconsciously edit out of their perceptions to maintain their sense of reality. Caster's sanity may unravel.
34. Caster gains the tendency to involuntarily befriend bees, which follow caster around and bring caster pollen.
    
35. Caster gets influx of partial knowledge and spotty memories from dozens of random individuals scattered all over a wide region. This is initially not obvious -- caster only gets the sense of their head feeling weird -- but caster now has the ability to make Knowledge checks about any subject (as Bardic Knowledge) with the caveat that the information they get is always incomplete, misleading, or useless. Caster may also discover they have gained several completely pointless skills, such as the muscle memory necessary to carve potatoes into obscene sculpture.
36. Caster grows dozens of extra teeth; only some of them are actually in caster's mouth.
37. Caster is henceforth prone to being summoned by summon monster spells cast from other Material Planes.
38. Caster is immune to magic, whether harmful or beneficial. This will eventually wear off -- after 1d4 days, roll a 10% chance each day that this effect ends. Do not tell the player that this effect is temporary.
39. Caster is now covered in tattooed script; an epic-level spell of the GM's choice can be cast (once) by reading the caster's skin like a scroll. (Said spell is as prone to casting mishaps as any other.)
40. Caster is plagued by constant ominous events: any journey they set out on starts on a gloomy, rainy day; the mournful croaking of ravens comes from virtually every tree they pass; livestock give birth to two-headed young whenever caster is in town; blood-red comets regularly seen in sky; &c.
    
41. Caster loses sense of direction. They cannot tell left from right, east from west, thisaway from thataway. If they travel without accompaniment, they will inevitably get hopelessly lost. This includes literally any journey that takes them out of sight of their starting point.
42. Caster loses sense of smell. This is temporary, but do not tell the players -- the caster will regain their sense of smell the first time they are in a situation in which lacking said sense would be an advantage.
43. Caster loses the ability to perceive distance -- whenever they try to determine how far away an item is, how deep a hole is, &c., the GM should give them a random inaccurate number.
44. Caster must roll Will save DC 17 whenever they enter a village or other population center to suppress horrific murderous compulsions.
45. Caster no longer has a head, but somehow still functions normally. (Maybe they eat through their neck?) Everybody the caster knows believes they have always been like this.
46. Caster no longer has a name. Nobody, including caster, can remember caster's previous name; any new name given to caster is promptly forgotten in the same manner.
47. Caster permanently swaps minds with caster's familiar.
48. Caster receives one year of someone else's memories from the distant future.
49. Caster receives one year of someone else's memories from the distant past.
50. Caster sees strange figures out of the corner of their eye at random inopportune moments.
51. Caster spontaneously gains the ability to understand, but not speak, the language of birds.
52. Caster suddenly acquires a telepathic link with a random being from the outer planes.
53. Caster suddenly acquires a telepathic link with a random NPC; odds are this is someone caster has never met before and who was previously of only peripheral relevance to the campaign at most. The bad news is that it is now literally impossible for the caster to successfully keep a secret; the good news is that, if the mind-linked NPC runs off to sell important information to the villains, the caster will know about it.
54. Caster swaps minds with target. If there is no target, caster swaps minds with whoever is closest.
55. Caster vanishes from existence; reappears 1d12 days later. Then the spell goes off as normal.
56. Caster, along with everything in a 1-mile radius, is shifted to a random outer plane.
57. Caster's age doubles.
58. Caster's mind is forced into a random magical item on or near caster; they can communicate in a manner appropriate to an intelligent magical item. Caster's body is alive but mindless; must be fed and cared for if party wants to preserve it.
59. Caster's skin detaches messily -- dealing damage to caster equal to half caster's HP -- then animates as an an undead entity intent on party's death.

    

    Shredskin, from the Pathfinder Bestiary 4

60. Caster's tongue bursts into flame, dealing 2d4 damage before it is completely reduced to ash. Caster can no longer speak intelligibly or cast spells with verbal components until healed by appropriate spell.
61. Every so often, the caster will hear someone's hidden thoughts instead of what they're actually saying. The caster cannot tell when this is happening.
62. Everybody within 100 feet of the caster is teleported 1d100 miles in a random direction. Roll separately for each person. This does not include the caster.
63. Gravity reverses for the caster, and only the caster, for the next 1d12 days.
64. Henceforth, any fire caster passes near becomes a fire elemental with its own agency, power of movement.
65. Henceforth, caster cannot help but answer all questions in excruciating, 100% truthful detail; caster also inevitably blurts out any information the party is trying to keep under wraps.
66. Magical energies overwhelm caster's nervous system. Caster is blind, deaf, mute, and paralyzed until healed by appropriate clerical spells.
67. Nothing happens, but all witnesses are convinced the spell worked perfectly.
68. Produce 1 Galdikin.
69. Produce 1d4 Galdikins.
70. Produce 1d12 Galdikins.
71. Random items tend to appear in caster's belongings; eventually it will become clear that these items all link caster to a variety of high-profile and especially heinous crimes.
72. Temporal instability; everyone within 100ft of the caster (including caster) is sent 1d12 days into the past. Whether this includes animals, items, &c. is up to the GM.
73. Temporal instability; everyone within 100ft of the caster (including caster) is sent 1d12 millennia into the past. Whether this includes animals, items, &c. is up to the GM.
74. The caster attracts angry, stinging insects whenever travelling in an area where such things are common.
75. The caster has difficulty perceiving things of the color [roll d8 -- 1: red, 2: blue, 3: yellow, 4: green, 5: gold, 6: gray, 7: brown, 8: white]. Whenever relevant, caster must make a Will save DC 15 to perceive the item's existence.
76. The caster is swapped with a version of themself from a slightly-divergent alternate timeline. This is not obvious to the caster, the PCs, or NPCs -- but the caster will, over time, start noticing details that are... not as they remember them.
77. The caster's reflection gains sapience and the ability to travel between reflective surfaces at will. It has no loyalty to the caster, and may in fact never be seen again.

    

    Art by Phil Foglio, from the M:tG card “Mirror Universe".

78. The caster's shadow gains its own mind, agenda, and agency. This will not be immediately obvious; the shadow may spend a lengthy period planning and biding its time before acting in any way.
79. The echoes of the spell's misfire garner the attention of a powerful devil, who will begin involving itself with the caster's plans and the plot of the campaign in general.
80. The magical backlash causes caster to collapse into hundreds of still-living pieces. (Whether caster can still communicate is up to the GM.) If sewn back together, caster can continue living as normal -- however, a Craft check and a Heal check are required; DC 30 on both to reassemble caster accurately and subtly. For each number below 30 on the Craft check, caster's patchwork nature is increasingly obvious to the casual observer. (Even with a 30 or higher, anyone who sees caster close-up in a well-lit environment can see the stitching.) For each number below 30 on the Heal check, caster loses 1 point of Constitution due to being sewn together wrong.
81. The magical energies are channelled into pure destructive force; everybody within (10*X) feet of the caster takes Xd12 damage, where X is the level of the spell. Inanimate objects also take damage, though magical items get a save.
82. The magical energies warp the mind; the caster acquires an unexpected obsession or neurosis.
83. The magical energies warp the mind; the caster's alignment spontaneously shifts by one step in a random direction.
84. The misfire damages the fabric of reality; expect incursions from the Far Realm or the Realm of Faerie, to a degree matching the power of the spell.
85. The most powerful being within 100 miles will begin seeing caster in their dreams every night. Caster is not portrayed in a flattering manner. (Defining “most powerful" -- and whether we're talking about political power, magical power, CR, or what -- is up to the GM.)
86. The mystic energies burn inside the caster's head, then escape through their eyes. After a brief pyrotechnic display, caster's eyes permanently gain the appearance of hollow voids with distant embers burning within.
87. The next lie the caster tells will spontaneously become true through immediate and retroactive alteration of reality. The GM should not share this information with the players for obvious reasons.
88. The next time the caster is out of sight of the rest of the party, s/he spontaneously duplicates. Their opposite-alignment double will try to pass themselves off as the original.
89. The spell does not go off, but the misfire of the arcane energies garners the attention of a demigod previously unknown to the party. The demigod's alignment and degree of hostility/friendliness may be randomly determined, but said entity will inevitably get involved in whatever the party is currently doing.
90. The spell echoes backwards in time; the timeline alters as if the caster had cast the spell exactly 1d12 days ago, in whatever location the caster was at that time. The caster and the people in their immediate vicinity are the only ones who remember the unaltered timeline.
91. The spell goes off as normal, but its effects are inexplicably contagious, and will gradually spread like a disease to anyone exposed.
92. The spell has the exact opposite effect as expected.
93. The spell works perfectly, but acquires the [Evil] descriptor -- the GM should describe it in the most sinister manner possible, and any witnesses will be somewhat suspicious of the caster.
94. The spell works perfectly, but is unnaturally “loud" in a cosmic sense -- strange whatsits from the Astral Plane will come investigate.
95. The spell works perfectly, but on the worst possible target in the immediate area.
96. The spell works perfectly, but will go off again in exactly one day's time. If it is an area of effect spell, it goes off at at the same distance from the caster in the same direction; a targeted spell picks a target nearby; etc.
97. When caster is nearby, milk sours, animals fall ill, music becomes discordant, children scream and cry, &c.
98. Whenever caster speaks, crow's eggs fall from their mouth, one for each word.
99. This spell works fine; caster's next 1d4 spells provoke a roll on this table.
100. Roll twice and combine.