Wednesday, September 6, 2017

At the Newt Fanciers' Exhibition

For whatever reason, the Clamorous Newts seem to demand further attention1. I have no explanation for this; perhaps, in the alternate universe where I have actually published some sort of RPG supplement, there is a chapter about Newts for no reason.

 As a result, I have felt compelled to describe what one might find at a gathering of the Newt Fanciers if one were in the market for one of these Newts -- as many PCs might be, given their utility and general adorableness. So, here's an entry regarding what they might find at a gathering of the wealthy eccentrics who breed these creatures as their hobby.

The Exhibition

An organization of Newt Fanciers -- called a “Court", rather than something so pedestrian as a “Club" or an “Association" -- generally shares a certain aesthetic appreciation for the decadent, dark, and decaying. As such, the venues for an exhibition tend to be abandoned temples or other such places that might provoke a thrill of the outré. Once the building is procured, it is given extravagant decoration -- tapestries are a favorite -- and magical lighting as available. It is then divided into three areas for the different functions of a traditional exhibition -- the Show, the Market, and the Ball.

Show

The most important aspect of the exhibition, and in theory the reason for everyone in attendance to be there, is the Show. The room in which this is placed will be lined with rows of tables, each of which holds a single ornate terrarium with a Clamoring Newt within it; these are the contestants for the exhibition's awards. Newt Fanciers walk up and down the rows, reading the small plaques attached to the terraria and assessing the competition. There are also nine masked and shrouded figures -- the anonymous Judges of the competition. The entire room is kept under a magical silence effect in case any of the Newts are skittish and try to Clamor at someone; as a result, the Fanciers, Judges, and subtle serving staff are forced to communicate with written notes and the complex, specialized sign language of the Newt Fanciers. Every so often, a servant will be sent with a note to locate a specific Newt Fancier -- they will collect their Newt from the terrarium, and retreat with the Judges to a specialized, isolated area within the building. There, the Fancier and the Judges will don rings of sonic resistance and the Fancier will instruct his Newt to Clamor & perform a variety of tricks.

Market

The smallest of the three areas of the exhibition is the Market. Here, stalls much like one would find at a traditional open-air bazaar cluster along the walls, selling expensive and high-quality wares specific to the hobby of Newt Fancying. Tailors will display cloth dyed and treated to be as perfect a match as possible to the colors and patterns of Newts, and will take orders from Fanciers to create garments that precisely match the appearance of their own Newts. Jewelers display Newt-themed jewelry for humanoids and Newt-sized jewelry for Newts. Glassblowers present ever-more-elaborate terraria, and various artisans sell toys, food bowls, and other components of day-to-day Newt raising. At least one artist is often present, taking commissions to paint portraits of those in attendance, with their Newts perched upon their shoulders. The greatest attractions, however, are the sellers of magical items2 and the Eftmongers, who get their own section.

Ball

In many ways, the Ball is much like any other ball of the aristocracy -- wine, music, dancing, and exotic hors d'oeuvres -- but the people in attendance makes it stand out. In addition to the general eccentricity of the aristocrats who engage in this hobby, it is considered proper and fashionable for one to have a Newt as an “escort" to the Ball. Said Newt will wear a beautifully-crafted collar, to which is attached a fine and delicate chain, connecting back to the owner. The collar and leash are only for show -- the Newts chosen as escorts are the friendliest and best-behaved of the owner's collection, and it is considered a great social shame to be seen to be not in full command of one's Newt. In addition, the elaborate clothing of each individual is carefully designed to imitate his or her escort in color, pattern, and style. There is a long list of proper protocol for the ways in which one and one's Newt dress & behave -- from the more-commonly-used rules on what materials the collar and leash should be made of, to frequently-ignored rules concerning which Newts sit on the left or the right shoulder, to the exceptionally-stuffy rules on how more senior Newts (those above 15 years of age) should be honored, &c.

At one point during the evening, the Judges will ascend a stage within the ballroom and announce the winners of the various awards. This will include a Best in Show, a Best in Species, and a variety of categories relating to Clamor, Beauty, and Behavior. This signals the end of the Show, and the Market will begin closing not long thereafter. The Ball, however, will continue late into the night.


The Eftmongers

If one is well-connected, one can acquire Clamorous Newts from other Newt Fanciers. If one is brave and willing to roll the dice on what sort of Newt they'll find, one can go capture some in the wild. However, the easiest way to acquire a Clamorous Newt is to buy one from an eftmonger3, the vendors who sell them at the exhibitions.

The eftmongers will happily show you the various breeds of Newt they have on hand. The breeds, incidentally, have a specific naming pattern:

  1. Start with the name of the original breeder or the region in which the breed emerged.
  2. Add the descriptor associated with the breed's most interesting trait, OR
  3. Add the descriptor associated with the breed's color/pattern.
  4. End with the species name.
So Newt breeds are called stuff like the “Lysinkan Ebon Hellbender" or the “McPhee's Salient Olm".

Knowing the descriptor terms does not allow PCs to request custom Newts -- this ain't Starbucks. This system instead is meant to be used by the GM to randomize, ahead of time, what sort of Newts are being sold by the eftmongers and give them some jargon to spew at the PCs.

Species

Though, due to magically-assisted hybridization, the concept of “species" has gotten somewhat fuzzy when it comes to Newt biology, the traditional system of the Newt Fanciers recognizes 20 broad categories of Clamorous Newt, which are referred to as its “species". Newt “species" rarely have any biological basis -- two Newts recognized as the same species for the purposes of the exhibition might have radically divergent evolutionary histories. It's just one of those things. A GM randomly generating some Newt breeds for a trip to the exhibition should start by rolling a d20 to pick species from the following table:

  1. Askard
  2. Boterel
  3. Chikila
  4. Cordyl
  5. Crepawn
  6. Dipsa
  7. Eft
  8. Gangrel
  9. Hellbender
  10. Kemp
  11. Lammig
  12. Minhocao
  13. Mollock
  14. Mudpuppy
  15. Olm
  16. Ruddock
  17. Serpent
  18. Short-tail
  19. Swift
  20. Winder

Askard

Askards are smallish Newts with a preference for aquatic environments. The most important characteristic of askards in the eyes of the Newt Fanciers, however, is the mating finery of the male; though many Newts develop a more flamboyant appearance during breeding season, the askards do so to the most dramatic degree.
Bred for: High crests, bright colors, and complex patterns; all of these traits only show up on males during the breeding season.
Call or Clamor: Generally a high-pitched whistling noise, rising and falling through two or three tones.
Stats: An askard rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, gets a +1 bonus to Charisma, and has a base price of 100gp.
A male askard in mating finery.

Boterel

Boterels have short tails and powerful legs. Their hind legs have small keratinous protrusions -- which the Newt Fanciers refer to as their “spades" -- that allow them to dig into the ground rapidly. Unlike many of their fellow Newts, boterels spend little time in water once mature, and prefer terraria full of loose, sandy soil that mimics their natural habitat below creekbeds and ponds.
Bred for: Prominent spades, strong hind legs, and a warty skin texture.
Call or Clamor: A deep croaking noise, often accompanied by an inflating throat pouch.
Stats: A boterel rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, has a 5 ft. Burrow speed and a 10 ft. Swim speed, gets a +1 bonus to Strength, and has a base price of 200gp.


Chikila

The chikila is an exotic and much-prized breed. It is one of the legless, burrowing species generally considered exceptionally valuable and difficult to find, but this variety in particular is both impressive and elusive. Chikilas are also noted for their maternal instincts; a chikila dam will dote upon and provide for her children through much of their larval stage.
Bred for: Quick burrowing, vestigial legs, long bodies.
Call or Clamor: A musical sound not unlike a simple string instrument.
Stats: A chikila rolls 2d4 times on the Traits table, has a 10 ft. Burrow speed and a 10 ft. Swim speed, gets a +1 bonus to Strength and Constitution, and has a base price of 500gp.
A chikila dam curled on top of her eggs.

Cordyl

Cordyls are smallish Newts that prefer to spend their time submerged in water. There are few unifying traits among the cordyl species, as they are an extremely common and widespread type of Newt and there are many, many different breeds of cordyl out there.
Bred for: Varies.
Call or Clamor: A sound eerily like a human scream.
Stats: A cordyl rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, and has a base price of 100gp.
Cordyl.

Crepawn

The ideal crepawn has a vestigial tail and long hind legs, but this is only peripherally important when breeding a champion crepawn. The most important feature of the species is the presence of a small bony nodule on its brow, between its eyes; this is called the Newt's “stone".
Bred for: Large, perfectly round stones.
Call or Clamor: Something not unlike the singing of tree-frogs.
Stats: A crepawn rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, has an additional headbutt attack dealing 1 damage, and has a base price of 250gp. 


Dipsa

Dipsas are the smallest of the Newt species, and the uninitiated could mistake them for strange-looking earthworms. Dipsa breeds generally have vestigial legs if they retain legs at all, and have thin, snake-like bodies only a few inches long.
Bred for: Varies, but always includes a small size and snakelike body plan.
Call or Clamor: High whistles, like a teakettle.
Stats: A dipsa rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, gets a -1 to Strength and a +1 to Dexterity, and has a base price of 300gp.
A dipsa in its ovner's hand.

Eft

Efts are a neotenous species of Newt, that never undergo metamorphosis into their adult form -- though there are several reports of captive efts, in unusual living conditions, metamorphosing into previously-unknown breeds. It would seem that various breeds of eft have triggers that cause them to take on their otherwise-forgotten adult form. Efts reaching full size in their neotenous form have full use of their Clamor. It should be noted that the eft is an aquatic species by preference, and anyone wishing to raise efts would do well to keep this in mind for the health of the Newt.
Bred for: Long, feathery gill stalks; interesting skin patterns.
Call or Clamor: Efts generally make small burbling or babbling noises to indicate their state of mind; their Clamor is an uncomplicated ear-splitting shriek.
Stats: An eft rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, and has a base price of 300gp.
Two efts of differing color patterns.
Photo by Robert Röhl

Gangrel

The gangrel is bred for utility rather than beauty, though breeders of gangrels usually make an effort to make them worth showing off. Gangrels are useful in that they have no range limit on the bond they have to their owner, and can find their way back to them unerringly, guided only by the psychic link a Newt and its owner possess. Similarly, they are capable of understanding complex sets of geographical directions, and can travel to locations over a mile away at their owner's instruction. They are used to deliver messages, which they can carry in small scroll-tubes strapped to their backs.
Bred for: Long legs, short tails, speed, and intelligence.
Call or Clamor: Rapid musical trills.
Stats: A gangrel rolls 1d3 times on the Traits table, has a 30 ft. land speed, gets +1 to Intelligence and +2 to Dexterity, and has a base price of 400gp.


Hellbender

The hellbender is the largest of the four-legged Newts, and the second-largest overall -- surpassed only by the pythonic Minhocao. They regularly exceed a foot in length, and some truly impressive specimens exceed two feet, not including the tail. They prefer to lurk at the bottom of freshwater pools, but are capable of accompanying their owner out of the water for extended periods. Like the gangrel, they are bred for utility rather than beauty -- the elegant water features on the estate of an eccentric aristocrat may well be home to a small cadre of loyal guard-hellbenders.
Bred for: Size, power, dark & subtle color patterns.
Call or Clamor: Somewhat like the notes of a bassoon.
Stats: A hellbender rolls 1d3 times on the Traits table, has a size of Tiny rather than Diminutive, gets +1 to its base attack bonus and +2 to Strength, and has a base cost of 400gp.
A hellbender at rest.
Photo credit: Bronx Zoo

Kemp

The kemp is a legless saltwater Newt, often mistaken for a small eel by the uninformed. Curiously, this species has no lungs, but breathes directly through its skin. This can make it difficult to transport out of the oceans, so those who raise or keep kemps are often obliged to invest in a special enchanted collar that allows the Newt to spend time comfortably in the open air -- where it often enjoys resting around its owner's shoulders like a thin scarf.
Bred for: Exotic color patterns, friendly demeanor.
Call or Clamor: Very much like whalesong.
Stats: A kemp rolls 1d6 times on the Traits table, has a land speed of 5 ft., a Swim speed of 30 ft., and a base cost of 350gp.
A kemp with a rather plain color pattern, resting on a dock.
Photo by B.S.F. Silva


Lammig

The lammig is strange, rare, and difficult to breed successfully. It has a thin but tough membrane connecting its fore and hind legs, which allows it to glide through the air. Breeders have managed to create many varieties that are also capable of leaping impressively high, thus allowing it to almost counterfeit flight over short distances -- and a few that can actually fly, if somewhat clumsily. In addition, a lammig's long tail is tipped with a venomous stinger, making it dangerous to handle.
Bred for: Gliding capabilities.
Call or Clamor: A guttural hiss.
Stats: A lammig rolls 1d3 times on the Traits table, possesses a venomous sting that mimics the effects of Newt Poison (on the Traits table), and has a base price of 750gp. Lammigs also possess the ability to glide 5ft through the air for every 1ft they fall; there is a 50% chance that a given breed can leap several feet into the air, and a 5% chance a given breed has true flight capabilities.


Minhocao

The minhocao is the most recent addition to the exhibitions of the Newt Fanciers. For a long time, it was unknown to the world at large, as it inhabited only the deepest parts of a certain vast and untamed jungle. There, it ruled as apex predator, and few sapient beings survived meeting it. Thus, it was only relatively recently that someone who recognized it for what it was survived long enough to establish a mental bond with it and introduce the new species to society. The minhocao is legless, and in its natural environment, can be found coiled around tree branches several feet off the ground, from which it can aim its Clamor at passing beasts. A healthy adult minhocao can exceed four feet in length, and rumors persist of larger specimens in the very heart of the jungle that grow to the size of pythons.
Bred for: Size and beauty.
Call or Clamor: Their everyday vocalizations are similar to those of a mid-sized dog; their Clamor is a boneshaking roar.
Stats: A minhocao rolls 1d6 times on the Traits table, gets +4 to Strength, +2 to Constitution, and -2 to Dexterity, has a 20 ft. range on its Clamor, does 4d6 damage with its Clamor, is Small rather than Diminutive, and has a base price of 1000gp.


Mollock

The mollock is another “utility" newt; it is, more than any other species raised by the Newt Fanciers, following the original purpose of the Clamoring Newts as created by the aboleths -- a personal defense weapon. Mollocks have a calm, quiet demeanor; they are happiest when napping on their owner's shoulder. A well-trained mollock, however, can go from asleep to actively Clamoring in a matter of seconds.
Bred for: Power and range of Clamor; well-behaved and calm personality.
Call or Clamor: Mollocks generally make only quiet peeps and murmurs to communicate; their Clamor is a short, sharp blast of sound.
Stats: A mollock rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, does 4d4 damage with its Clamor, and has a base price of 200gp.


Mudpuppy

Mudpuppies are among the most varied breeds of Newt in terms of appearance. They are friendly, energetic, and affectionate creatures that are often kept as beloved pets simply for their charming personality. Due to the danger of their Clamor, however, they are usually sold along with an enchanted collar that keeps them from inadvertently doing sonic damage; one can usually get by for a long time without making this purchase, as mudpuppies are not particularly aggressive, and like all Clamoring Newts, will obey their owner's instructions -- however, there is an occasional incident wherein someone who is a stranger to the mudpuppy gets an unpleasant surprise when visiting late at night. Mudpuppies generally prefer to avoid direct sunlight, and will, given the chance, retreat into the mud at the bottom of their aquarium during the midday hours.
Bred for: Varies widely, but usually with an eye towards good companionship
Call or Clamor: A wide variety of different vocalizations to communicate, but a Clamor like a wolf's howl.
Stats: A mudpuppy rolls 1d6 times on the Traits table, does only 2d4 damage with its Clamor, gets a +2 to Charisma, and has a base price of 250gp.
A mudpuppy in its aquarium.

Olm

The olm is a species of pale, eyeless Newt adapted for lightless environments. They are considered the most naturally beautiful of Newt species, and all olms have the same color pattern (as shown below). Their sinuous grace is much-praised among the Newt Fanciers, and they are even the subject of a small corpus of poetry.
Bred for: Translucent flesh, graceful movement.
Call or Clamor: Quiet whispers for everyday communication; a mournful howl as its Clamor.
Stats: An olm rolls 1d6 times on the Traits table, gets +4 to Dexterity and +1 to Charisma, and has a base price of 500gp.
An olm in an underground sea.
Photo by Arne Hodalič

Ruddock

The ruddock is a fairly sedentary creature, running to slightly rounder-than-normal body plans. In its natural habitat, it remains still and camouflaged while waiting for its prey to come near; though the more exciting color patterns in ruddocks bred for the exhibition prevent it from resembling a clump of dirt or a pebble, the instinct remains. The unique feature of the ruddock species is its bite -- it is the only species of Newt that naturally has a venomous bite. For this reason, ruddocks must be carefully handled, and breeders who work with them demand high prices.
Bred for: Complex color patterns, long teeth.
Call or Clamor: Variety of croaking sounds.
Stats: A ruddock rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, inflicts Newt Poison (see Traits table) with its bite attack, and has a base price of 350gp.


Serpent

The serpent generally has vestigial legs -- if it has any at all -- and is entirely covered with glittering scales. As the only species of Newt to possess scales naturally, it is generally bred to showcase this trait.
Bred for: Bright, shining, strong scales of many colors.
Call or Clamor: A sound weirdly like laughter.
Stats: A serpent rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, has +2 natural armor, and has a base price of 250gp.


Short-tail

The short-tail, as one might expect, has only a small vestigial tail. The species also tends to have little division between its head and its body, with the result that it is often described as resembling a potato with legs. Those who breed short-tails frequently also describe them as adorable.
Bred for: Warty skin, “potato" shape.
Call or Clamor: Grumbling and chirping in everyday communication; a sharp “pah!" noise as its Clamor.
Stats: A short-tail rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, and has a base price of 100gp.
An unhappy short-tail.

Swift

The swift is a species with a long tail and quick reflexes. Over time, most breeds of swift have been selected for longer and more exaggerated tails, to the point that it is now common for a swift to have a tail two to three times the length of its body. They also have unusually-shaped heads, with bony protrusions to either side.
Bred for: Long tails, boomerang-shaped heads.
Call or Clamor: Whistles, hums, and flute-like “singing".
Stats: A swift rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, gets +2 to Dexterity, has a 20 ft. land speed and a 40 ft. Swim speed, and has a base price of 200gp.
Wild swifts -- without selective breeding, their tails only reach the length of their own body.
Source.

Winder

The winder has a thin body, short legs -- almost vestigial -- and a hard, streamlined head. Its tail and body are both impressively long; a winder can reach nearly two feet in length despite not being much bigger around than a common earthworm. Notably, a winder is named for the way it winds around its owner -- they are hematophagous, not unlike leeches, and will attach to a larger creature, subsisting on small amounts of its blood. They do not take enough at any one time to cause injury or ill effects from a host the size of a humanoid, so less squeamish owners allow their winders to attach to a spot on their back or shoulder and feed directly from them; others opt to keep cattle or similar handy as food sources.
Bred for: Length, various color patterns.
Call or Clamor: Snakelike hisses and high-pitched squeals.
Stats: A winder rolls 1d4 times on the Traits table, gets a +1 to Dexterity, and has a base price of 150gp.

Colors

The following recognized color patterns have specific terms associated with them, and one can roll a d100 to choose randomly when generating a Newt.


  1. Aeruginous -- Streaks and speckles of blue and green.
  2. Atred -- Black spots, blotches, and streaks.
  3. Bald -- White head.
  4. Banded -- A series of rings down the length of the body.
  5. Bausond -- Very dark with white markings.
  6. Bepurfurate -- A pattern of red rosettes.
  7. Beryl -- Extremely pale, with specks of green.
  8. Blanched -- Very pale.
  9. Blushing -- Very light pink.
  10. Bunt -- Patches and spots of many different colors.
  11. Caesious -- Green with grey markings.
  12. Carbuncly -- Red with iridescent highlights.
  13. Caudal -- A single stripe down the back.
  14. Cerulescent -- Mottled with various shades of blue and slightly iridescent.
  15. Chrysoprase -- Green with thin streaks of other colors.
  16. Cinereous -- Gray with spots.
  17. Cinnabrian -- Red marks on the face.
  18. Clarified -- Red shading to orange, with streaks of yellow.
  19. Coccineous -- Striped with red.
  20. Corbeau -- Extremely dark green.
  21. Cramoisy -- Reddish with blue or purple streaks or speckles.
  22. Croceous -- Yellow with red and orange markings.
  23. Damasked -- A pattern of red rosettes.
  24. Dapper -- Any extremely complex, multi-colored pattern that cannot be easily categorized.
  25. Dappled -- White blotches.
  26. Diamondback -- A row of diamonds or lozenges along the back.
  27. Ebon -- Black with iridescent highlights.
  28. Emeraldine -- Green with iridescent highlights.
  29. Ferruginous -- Rust-colored with speckles of grey.
  30. Festucine -- Pale yellow with stripes.
  31. Flammeous -- A red belly.
  32. Flavescent -- Yellow with iridescent highlights.
  33. Flaxen -- Very light yellow.
  34. Fleeten -- Very light blue.
  35. Forgotten -- Blue rosettes.
  36. Fuscous -- Coffee-colored.
  37. Gamboge -- Mustard-colored.
  38. Garled -- Spots of irregular size and shape.
  39. Glaucy -- Sea-green.
  40. Haematine -- Blood-red speckles or blotches.
  41. Heliotrope -- An especially vivid pink.
  42. Helmeted -- A dark patch on the head.
  43. Hoary -- Grey.
  44. Incandent -- White with iridescent highlights.
  45. Incarnadine -- Bright red with pinkish markings.
  46. Jacinth -- A very deep, rich purple.
  47. Jaundiced -- Yellow.
  48. Lateritious -- Brownish-red with a striped pattern.
  49. Mazarine -- An especially vivid blue.
  50. Meline -- Yellow with greenish highlights.
  51. Mellifluous -- Honey-colored.
  52. Miniaceous -- Red with orange spots or streaks.
  53. Murrey -- A dark red shading to purple.
  54. Nacarine -- Speckled in various hues of red.
  55. Nacreous -- A grey that shimmers in various colors, like mother-of-pearl.
  56. Oriented -- The varying shades of a sunrise.
  57. Pale -- White.
  58. Parchment -- The pale color of parchment.
  59. Pavonaceous -- A bluish-green belly.
  60. Pawed -- Feet a different color from the rest of the patterning.
  61. Perse -- Dark blue with markings of grey or purple.
  62. Phoeniceous -- An extremely bright red.
  63. Piebald -- Black and white patches.
  64. Pinned -- Thin, straight stripes.
  65. Porphyry -- Purple with streaks of grey.
  66. Porraceous -- Pale green stripes.
  67. Prasine -- Pale green blotches.
  68. Pullous -- Very dark, but not black.
  69. Punctuated -- Small black spots.
  70. Puniceous -- Red with highlights of purple or yellow.
  71. Rosetted -- Leopard-like blotches.
  72. Rubiginous -- Rust-colored.
  73. Rubricated -- Red spots, blotches, and streaks.
  74. Rufulous -- Red spots.
  75. Rutilant -- Red speckled with light brown or dark yellow.
  76. Sable -- Black.
  77. Sanguine -- Blood-red.
  78. Sapphirine -- Blue with iridescent highlights.
  79. Shanked -- Legs a different color from the rest of the patterning.
  80. Skewbald -- Brown and white patches.
  81. Smaragdine -- An especially vivid green.
  82. Spadiceous -- Brown with streaks of red.
  83. Stippled -- Small, hard-to-see spots.
  84. Sulphureous -- Patches in various shades of yellow.
  85. Supercilious -- A mark over one or both eyes.
  86. Testaceous -- A reddish, terracotta-esque color.
  87. Torquate -- A ring around the neck.
  88. Torrid -- Black with specks or highlights of grey, red, and brown.
  89. Trimaculate -- A grouping of three spots on the head.
  90. Trivirgate -- Exactly three stripes.
  91. Tuly -- Thin stripes of reddish shades.
  92. Verdant -- Complex patterns in various shades of green.
  93. Verdigris -- Green with coppery flecks.
  94. Vermiculated -- Wavy lines.
  95. Vertical -- Green stripes.
  96. Vinaceous -- The color of red wine.
  97. Virent -- Green spots.
  98. Vittate -- Striped.
  99. Watchet -- Green highlights.
  100. Yteiled -- Tail a different color from the rest of the patterning.

Traits

This list of traits is slightly edited -- I've removed many of the options that are characteristic of Newt species, now that I have that aspect written, and added more weird heritage options, which probably result from use of the aforementioned potions of indiscriminate fecundity4. This list also includes terms to describe many of the traits, which might be used in the name of the breed; some have no terms associated with them, because they lack notability, are something the eftmonger might be unaware of, or are something they might not want to advertise. Each also includes a modifier to the base price of the Newt, for the further... enjoyment of your players. Naturally, it is still numbered for use as a d100 table.

  1. Amphisbaenic -- Has an extra head. -- price +500gp
  2. Anarchic -- Has heritage from the planes of chaos. -- price x2
  3. Anoneiric -- Doesn't sleep. -- price x1.5
  4. Armored -- Has very thick scales; +2 natural AC. -- price x1.5
  5. Axiomatic -- Has heritage from the planes of law. -- price x2
  6. Bifurcate -- Has a forked tail. -- no price modifier
  7. Bitter -- Spits acid; 10-ft range, 1d4 damage. -- price x2
  8. Carnassial -- Has very long fangs; increase bite damage by one die type. -- price x1.5
  9. Chattering -- Is very vocal, and mutters to itself constantly. -- no price modifier
  10. Clawed -- Has sharp claws. Rar! (Add two 1-damage claw attacks.) -- price x1.5
  11. Crested -- Has a crest along its back. -- no price modifier
  12. Cryptic -- Can change color like a chameleon. -- price +500gp
  13. Cunning -- Has an extra minor magical ability; pick a 0-level spell off the Sorcerer/Wizard spell list at random; it's a 1/day spell-like ability. -- price x1.5
  14. Diabolical -- Has fiendish blood. -- price x2
  15. Draconic -- Has draconic blood. -- price x2
  16. Echoing -- Can echolocate. -- price +250gp
  17. Eldritch -- Generates infrasound; instead of deafening or dazing targets, its Clamor has an effect like that of cause fear. -- price +150gp
  18. Emulous -- Engages in parrot-like mimicry. -- price +100gp
  19. Ensate -- Has a large, flat, paddle-shaped tail; double swim speed. -- price +100gp
  20. Fanged -- Is venomous; can use its fangs to inject Newt Poison. -- price x1.5
  21. Feathered -- Has long, feathery external gill stalks. Look at the pretty little guy! -- price +100gp
  22. Flagelliferous -- Has a tail at least twice the length of its body. -- no price modifier
  23. Fodient -- Digs a lot; add a burrow speed of 5 ft. If it already has a burrow speed, double that speed. -- price +200gp
  24. Foul -- Secretes awful-smelling muck when disturbed. -- no price modifier
  25. Frilled -- Has a neck frill. -- no price modifier
  26. Fugal -- Can create hypnotic patterns on its skin. -- price x1.5
  27. Galling -- Is incredibly poisonous. With patience and care, one can collect enough of its skin secretions to make one dose of Newt Poison each day. (Newt Poison, which is more poisonous to people than it is to newts, is administered by ingestion. Fort DC: 12, onset: 10 minutes, frequency: 1/minute for 10 minutes, effect: 1d4 Str, cure: 2 saves.) -- price x2
  28. Galvanic -- Can generate an electric shock; 1d4 damage, touch only. -- price x1.5
  29. Glass -- Has transparent flesh. -- price +150gp
  30. Globular -- Inflates like a blowfish. -- price +200gp
  31. Grave -- Has an especially low-pitched tone; the area of effect of its Clamor is a 5-foot radius. -- price +100gp
  32. Great -- Is unusually large; increase size category by one. -- price x1.5
  33. Gregarious -- Is highly social; always encountered in groups of four or more.  -- no price modifier, but the eftmonger will try and convince you to buy a bunch of them for the psychological health of your Newt.
  34. Cowled -- Has a large, bulbous head. -- no price modifier
  35. Hollow -- Has an expandable stomach and swallows things many times its own size. -- price +200gp
  36. Horned -- Has horns. -- no price modifier
  37. Hunting -- Has a sense of smell like a bloodhound.  -- price +300gp
  38. Keen -- Has an especially high-pitched tone; the area of effect of its Clamor is a 20-foot line. -- price +100gp
  39. Lambitating -- Can shoot its tongue out of its mouth to catch insects. -- no price modifier
  40. Longshanked -- Has long legs; double speed. -- price +100gp
  41. Nettled -- Stings if you touch it; 1d4 damage. -- price +100gp
  42. Ocular -- Has particularly big eyes. -- no price modifier
  43. Piked -- Has spines; add a melee attack for 1d4 damage.  -- price x1.5
  44. Piping -- Can squeak like a mouse. -- no price modifier
  45. Plated -- Is segmented like an earthworm. -- no price modifier
  46. Polypod -- Has an extra pair of legs. -- price +300gp
  47. Prognathous -- Has a long, thin, gharial-esque jaw. -- no price modifier
  48. Pygmy -- Is unusually small; decrease size category by one. Tiny baby! -- price x1.5
  49. Quirking -- Can croak like a frog. -- no price modifier
  50. Rheuming -- Can spit mucus ten feet. -- price +100gp
  51. Ribboned -- Uses rippling fins on the side of its body to swim around. -- price +50gp
  52. Ridged -- Has alligator-like bony plating; +3 natural AC.  -- price x2
  53. Salient -- Can jump several feet in the air. -- price +150gp
  54. Scaled -- Has scales; +1 natural AC. -- price +150gp
  55. Scandent -- Climbs trees; add a 5ft. climb speed. If it already has a climb speed, double that speed. -- price +200gp
  56. Scutted -- Has an extra tail. -- price +150gp
  57. Seraphic -- Has celestial blood.  -- price x2
  58. Setose -- Can walk up walls. -- price x1.5
  59. Shimmering -- Is bioluminescent and can flash complicated light-shows on its skin. -- price +250gp
  60. Shining -- Is bioluminescent. -- price +100gp
  61. Shivering -- Can break glass or crystal with its Clamor. -- price +50gp
  62. Silent -- Is silent; Clamor deals force damage rather than sonic, and always dazes rather than deafens. -- price x3
  63. Singing -- Sings like a tree-frog. -- no price modifier
  64. Slangrel -- Is especially long and thin, like a snake. Or a shoelace. -- no price modifier
  65. Spawling -- Can spit jets of water with frightening precision; 10ft range, 1 damage. -- price +200gp
  66. Spectacled -- Has an extra pair of eyes. -- price +250gp
  67. Splendid -- Is bioluminescent and slightly magical; casts light on itself 3/day as a spell-like ability. -- price +500gp
  68. Syndactyl -- Has long, webbed digits; double swim speed. -- price +100gp
  69. Trumpeting -- Is particularly loud; add 1d6 to Clamor damage and increase the save DC by 2. -- price x3
  70. Vampiric -- Feeds by sucking the blood out of its prey. -- no price modifier
  71. Vermiceous -- Has wee tentacles on either side of its mouth. -- no price modifier
  72. Vespertine -- Can see in the dark; replace low-light vision with darkvision. -- price +100gp
  73. Viscous -- Is extra slimy. -- no price modifier
  74. Visionary -- Secretes hallucinogens. Wanna lick? -- price +500gp
  75. Visive -- Has bulging eyes. -- no price modifier
  76. Volitant -- Can glide through the air on skin flaps. -- price x1.5
  77. Wenned -- Is all warty. -- no price modifier
  78. Whispering -- Can hiss like a snake. -- no price modifier
  79. Whistling -- Makes complex whistling noises. -- no price modifier
  80. n/a -- Bites like hell; will attack anything in reach other than its master. -- no price modifier
  81. n/a -- Can cause permanent deafness with its Clamor. -- price +200gp
  82. n/a -- Can form hive-minds with other Clamorous Newts (does not work if the Newts are bonded to two different people). -- no price modifier, and the eftmonger probably doesn't know about it.
  83. n/a -- Can see into the infrared. -- no price modifier
  84. n/a -- Can see into the ultraviolet. -- no price modifier
  85. n/a -- Can track prey by body heat. -- price +50gp
  86. n/a -- Has a taste for human(oid) flesh. Watch your fingers. -- no price modifier, and the eftmonger won't tell you.
  87. n/a -- Has developed a particularly complex skin pattern. -- no price modifier
  88. n/a -- Has elemental blood. -- price x2
  89. n/a -- Has no sense of loyalty and might attack at any time. -- no price modifier, and even if the eftmonger knew, he wouldn't tell you.
  90. n/a -- Has non-amphibian heritage bred into it. -- price x1.5
  91. n/a -- Has the Ability Focus feat. -- price x2
  92. n/a -- Is albino. -- price +500gp
  93. n/a -- Is extra friendly. -- no price modifier
  94. n/a -- Is of an especially striking hue. -- no price modifier
  95. n/a -- Is particularly attentive; +2 Perception. -- price x1.5
  96. n/a -- Is unusually fast; increase Dex by 2. -- price x1.5
  97. n/a -- Is unusually smart; increase Int by 2. -- price x1.5
  98. n/a -- Is unusually strong; increase Str by 2. -- price x1.5
  99. n/a -- Is unusually tough; increase Con by 2. -- price x1.5
  100. n/a -- Roll twice and combine; reroll contradictions. -- n/a

Examples

Lysinkan Ebon Hellbender

This breed of Newt is a massive creature, whose skin displays the weird sheen of an oil slick. The Ebon Hellbender is the size of a large cat or a small dog, and is more physically dangerous than your standard Newt; it has a Strength of 5, a Base Attack of +1, a CMB of +2, and a CMD of 6. It is considered the perfect breed to keep as a guard-Newt: not only is it large and dangerous; but its unusually high-pitched Clamor allows it to precisely target any intruders while not waking the residents of the home (its Clamor is a 20-foot line rather than a cone); and it has been known to get maliciously creative when it can no longer Clamor, spitting mucus into the eyes of potential burglars from several feet away (see “Rheuming"); it is also said to have access to a greater range of vision than the human, making it difficult to sneak past (UV sight). An Ebon Hellbender will generally cost around 600gp, but eftmongers will often talk up the fame of the breed in an attempt to get a higher price.

McPhee's Salient Olm

The Salient Olm is a popular, if expensive, pet breed among those who appreciate the pale, eyeless beauty of the olm but think its sinuous grace and mournful calls are a bit much. The Salient Olm is a breed that, rather than twist through dark water singing songs of loss, leaps about and makes happy little croaking noises. It is an exceptionally small creature, with the size (and the jumping ability) of a cricket. Its skin is segmented, somewhat like an earthworm, and it has a crest along its back that sticks straight up when it is in a particularly good mood. A Salient Olm has a Dexterity of 21 and a Charisma of 3; it also has a CMB of -4 and a CMD of 3. The recognized market price for a Salient Olm is 975gp, but eftmongers tend to start the haggling at well over 1000gp and hope that the friendly olm chirping and leaping in its terrarium will charm the mark into accepting their price.
1. One might say they... clamor for it.
2. Such as various items with permanent silence effects, rings of sonic resistance, and the useful potions of indiscriminate fecundity -- often the only way to crossbreed Newts from divergent bloodlines.
3. This term comes from the accepted practice of selling Clamorous Newts when they are still young and unable to do much damage with their Clamor if the new owner proves unable to control them. (“Eft" is the term for a newt in the life stage between tadpole and adult.)
4. Excessive use of such is considered rather classless and gauche, and most Newt Fanciers frown on screwing around with non-Newt species. 
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