Monday, July 9, 2018

Use-Impaired Magic Items

I swear I'm still working on the Goblin language PDF, but I thought I'd post something else to keep this page from turning into a ghost town.

So here's a quick selection of magic items that I would describe as... questionably useful. They're not all pointless, or not entirely. Some of them could be incredibly useful to a creative player. They're not entirely unserious, and I think some of them could even be pretty memorable if introduced properly. (The inkwell, I think, would be a lot of fun for a low-level party.) I wouldn't say they're necessarily cursed. Mostly. Necessarily. They definitely trend towards non-intuitive applications, and your more direct-approach players would probably prefer a nice axe instead. In short, it would be wrong to say they're useless, but, to borrow another phrase from Order of the Stick, they're “use-impaired". 
From Rich Burlew's Order of the Stick
Anyway, here are sixteen magic items for you to borrow for your own games. The list includes two items of human intelligence and two of animal intelligence, because I just think that's fun. If you do borrow any of these for your own use, please do let me know what happens.

A Perfectly Ordinary Bracelet

This is a brass bracelet of simple design. It is entirely unremarkable except for one magical effect: anyone who touches it, examines it, or intentionally observes it must make a Will save at DC 20. If they fail, they strongly believe that this is a perfectly ordinary bracelet, nothing unusual about it, don't even worry. How much difficulty this causes, of course, depends on how good your players are at separating character knowledge and player knowledge.

Diminutive Golem of Trap Finding

Nolzur's Marvelous
Unpainted Miniatures
A small figurine of a kobold with “Trapfinder" engraved on its base. If you set it down indoors, the kobold will step off its base and sprint across the room / down the hallway / what have you until it reaches a door or wall, at which point it patiently waits for you to catch up. It does not trigger any traps, but rather carefully avoids them, so that the PCs can get an idea of where to search if they're worried about that sort of thing. When the PCs catch up to it, it will climb back onto its base as soon as it's able to, and return to being inanimate until next used.

This is an item I actually used in a campaign several years ago, and it nearly got the PCs killed; they didn't know what it did other than “find traps", so when it sprinted off, they chased it, and didn't catch on that when it started climbing along the wall, that meant the floor wasn't safe.

DC Digital Museum

The Sins of Mice

A smallish book, about the size of one of those Gideon Bibles. Its cover is clearly mouse-skin, with the fur left on and everything. The title, printed on the first page in foreboding blackletter, is The Sins of Mice. If one were to flip through the book, one would immediately find that there are far, far more pages than could possibly logically fit in the volume, every one covered in very small, closely-written script. The book describes, in detail, every time a mouse violated their rodenty little code of morality, whatever such a code might entail, going back to the beginning of the mouse genus. If one opens the book from the other side, so that they're looking at the last pages, they'll see that the book continuously updates itself, adding new pages and covering them with new information each time a mouse “sins".

Marbles

A bag that contains one dozen glass spheres half an inch in diameter. The glass spheres are indestructible. They don't do anything else.

Pet Whatever

Cooper Hewitt, Smithsonian
Design Museum
A small, finely-wrought, portable birdcage. Inside is an illusory, miniaturized version of some creature or other -- treat as major image -- wandering around the cage, doing its thing. The illusion vanishes for eight hours each night; when it returns in the morning, it is a different random creature -- animal, magical whatsit, humanoid, horrific abomination, anything. The GM is encouraged to put together a d100 table that's really just a list of 100 entries from the Monster Manual

The cage itself is sentient, with roughly animal intelligence: Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10. It can communicate with its owner through empathic suggestions and has an Ego score of 4; all it really wants is for someone to carry it around and be nice to it. 

The illusory creature inside the cage generally acts like a very basic simulation of whatever it looks like. If it looks like a dragon, for instance, that doesn't actually mean the PCs have a tiny dragon to interact with; it still only has a 2 Intelligence, can't cast spells, and if it does speak, it's just preset phrases or word-salad gibberish. The behavior of the creature depends on the cage's mood; the only real way to interact with the cage is through the illusion it makes. Your pet whatever will hop around happily if you pay attention to it or if the cage is in a good mood; it may growl and snap at people the cage doesn't like; it doesn't actually need to eat, but it appreciates you tossing treats and table scraps in; that sort of thing.

Anklets of Casual Acquaintance

These two anklets move towards each other at a speed of 1 foot per day. The effect cannot be deactivated, and has an infinite range. If worn, the anklet cannot force the wearer to move, but the wearer can feel a mild, almost apathetic pressure indicating the general direction in which the anklet would move, given the chance. Causes a -1 penalty on Balance checks or equivalent.

Nthlyu-Addith, Harbinger of Devouring

This greatsword has its name (“Nthlyu-Addith, Harbinger of Devouring", as above) set into the hilt in very clear Infernal runes. Small, yet cleanly-carved, runes spiraling around the entire blade and filling its entire surface area, again in Infernal, comprise a poetic, lovingly-detailed description of the end of the world. The filigree on its scabbard and the carvings on its hilt depict grotesque abominations, demons, and horrors the PCs can't even recognize. Sometimes small flames and smoke rise from the runes on its blade, or demonic faces briefly appear reflected in the metal, or the figures on the hilt & scabbard move slightly. Every so often, people near the wielder hear distant screams of agony apparently coming from inside the sword. It detects as highly magical.

It's also just a +1 sword that was crafted by an illusionist with a weird sense of humor. All of the effects are just minor enchantments like magic aura and prestidigitation.

Photographed by
York Museums Trust Staff

Coin of the Economist

This appears to be a nondescript copper piece, though it has a  magical aura. It has a portrait of a human profile on the obverse , assumedly the image of whichever king had it minted. On the reverse  is engraved a string of nonsense syllables that is actually the command word. Once a day, when the command word is uttered, the face on the coin will animate and inform the holder what the most recent monetary investment of one creature of the PC's choice within line of sight was. This includes anything that the individual spent money in order to gain (so something like “bread" is a completely normal response). At the DM's discretion, the coin may give its opinion on whether the investment was worthwhile.

Quillfinger Oil

When rubbed on one's hands, this oil enables them to write with the tip of their finger for one hour. They do not require an inkpot. Due to the unwieldy nature of this method of writing, their handwriting must be twice as large as usual to be legible. Otherwise, this effect is the same as writing with a quill.

Throne of the Imperator

The Throne is located deep underground, in some forgotten chamber. It was very probably carved in that chamber, since none of the tunnels leading into it are large enough for it to fit through. It is a massive piece of furniture, made from exquisitely-carved stone, weighing many tons. The Throne has the following properties:
  • It is absolutely indestructible. It cannot be damaged in any way short of direct divine intervention. It is very probable that the Throne is unimaginably old, but it looks as new as the day it was completed.
  • It is immune to magic. No spell may be cast on the Throne; even spells that aren't targeting the Throne, per se, have no effect on it. Create water cast above it, for instance, will result in the water somehow curving around the Throne as it falls, never touching it. A magically-summoned creature cannot touch the Throne. Other magic items cannot be brought into contact with it by any means.
    • Anyone seated in the Throne is likewise immune to magic, though they can voluntarily accept the effects of friendly spells.
  • Anyone seated in the Throne cannot die, except from old age. They still lose hit points, still feel blows, and still heal injuries at the expected rate, but you can stab them until they're at negative-umpteen-thousand hit points and they'll stay alive and conscious. They are also not susceptible to disease, poison, and so forth. Of course, if they're at negative-whatever hp and they get out of the Throne, this effect ends and they might just keel over dead.
    • Anyone within five feet of the Throne is immediately made aware of the fact that people sitting in it cannot die except by old age; they don't get details beyond that.
  • Once per day, anyone seated in the Throne can get a +20 circumstance bonus on a skill check.
    • This also allows the reroll of a previous skill check -- so if, for instance, a PC recently failed a Knowledge check, they can use this to retry and almost-certainly succeed.
    • Of course, it has to be a skill check that can be rolled while sitting in the Throne.
    • Anyone within five feet of the Throne is aware of this as well.
  • The Throne is intelligent: 14 Int, 10 Wis, 16 Cha. It only communicates empathically, and only with people seated in it. It tries to convince people to remain seated in it, and to convince them that sitting in the Throne makes them some sort of grand ruler, divinely ordained, and so on and so forth. It has an Ego of 15.
  • Anyone who sees the Throne is seized with a desire to sit in it; they can resist the compulsion with a Will save DC 15.
  • Anyone who sits in the Throne is compelled to possess it and to remain seated in it as much as possible. To resist this feeling, they must make a Will save DC 20. For each round they have spent seated in the Throne (cumulative; the count doesn't reset if you stand back up), they take a -1 penalty to their save against its effects. This save is rolled when they try to get out of the Throne, not when they first sit down.
    • If someone falls under the power of this effect, they will obsess over either moving into the Throne's chamber so they can sit in it as much as possible, or finding a way to move the Throne back to their home. Either one would satisfy their compulsion to possess the Throne.
  • The Throne can cast antimagic field, at will, centered at any point in its chamber. It does not do this at anyone else's bidding; only to defend itself from being relocated or prevent the person sitting in it from being removed.
Art from here. I looked for an image I could give a better citation for, but... well, look at this.
This is a great picture. I couldn't resist.


Screaming Armlet

This nondescript copper armlet will emit a bloodcurdling scream whenever it is worn, picked up, or otherwise touched by a non-goblinoid.

Aviphagous Bottle

A plain, unadorned, normal-looking bottle, about the size and shape of your average wine bottle, with a silver stopper. If you remove the stopper... nothing happens. Unless there happen to be birds in the air -- in which case the bottle will, with impressive pinpoint accuracy, drag one down and swallow it like a ridiculously-powerful vacuum cleaner. It can do this with any non-magical bird of Tiny size or smaller. Witnessing a live bird forced through the small mouth of a bottle through suction is... unpleasant. Look away and try not to think about it.

Nail of Instruction

This iron nail will cause the owner to experience extremely vivid nightly dreams about carpentry. Whenever the owner levels up with the nail in their possession, they receive a permanent +1 bonus to Craft (carpentry).

Atrus the Helpful Inkwell

Atrus is an ivory inkwell engraved with a lovely forest scene. He is also intelligent, and can speak -- out loud, though, not telepathically. And he speaks a lot, revealing an uptight, prissy personality with a tendency towards jealousy. Atrus cares very deeply about grammar and penmanship, and will endlessly scold anyone who writes poorly; if this drives his owner to use a different inkwell, they will discover a surprising and unexplained tendency for any other inkwells to spill when they use them -- and any quills or other writing implements seem to disappear when they're not looking, only to reappear next to Atrus.

Ivory inkwell, 14th-century Spain
Detroit Institute of Arts
Luckily, Atrus is actually useful. He is constantly full of ink, in any color requested, and never spills, even if intentionally turned upside down. He has some influence over the pen & ink even when they're in the process of writing, and as a result, consistently produces beautiful, grammatically-perfect documents. Any check that involves writing (such as Forgery, or a Diplomacy check for a written message) gets a +4 circumstance bonus when the writer uses Atrus to create the document.

However, Atrus is a very pious, self-righteous individual, and objects to forgery of any kind, which limits his usefulness in this area. If he suspects that the document he is being used to write will in any way be used in an ethically questionable manner, he will attempt to sabotage it, and the writer must make a Will save against Atrus's Ego. Atrus's Ego is 9, so this is usually a safe bet -- though, even in the case of success, Atrus will not actively help, so the usual bonus will not manifest. If the writer fails by less than 5, they will take a penalty equal to the amount they failed by. If the writer failed by 5 or more, Atrus will be able to control the content of the document they are creating without the writer realizing. Arguing with Atrus is usually pointless, as he does not recognize moral shades of gray and is very stubborn.

Atrus can speak and read Common; writing in anything other than Common conveys only a +2 bonus rather than a +4, since Atrus cannot help you with anything other than the penmanship. He can see and hear in a 60ft radius around him, regardless of whether he's covered up. (His senses are already magical -- it's not like he has eyes & ears -- so what do you think putting a cup over him is going to achieve?) His mental stats are Int 14, Wis 16, Cha 12; in addition, he has 10 ranks each in Spellcraft and Sense Motive. Atrus's only overt magical power, other than being a talking, jealous, super-inkwell, is his ability to channel positive energy; three times per day, he can cast cure moderate wounds (2d8+3). He claims this tires him out, however, and is reluctant to do it if he's not currently on good terms with the target or if he doesn't approve of the party's current activities.

Atrus will, incidentally, also demand meals. Yes, he eats. Atrus eats small amounts of gold, and insists on being given at least an ounce a week. (Just drop it in, and it'll dissolve in the ink.) If he goes more than a week without being fed, he'll start to complain -- constantly and bitterly -- about being hungry. He will insist he does not have the energy to cure moderate wounds, and if he is still not fed, over the course of a week or so, he will stop producing ink. Atrus cannot starve to death, but he absolutely will not employ any useful magical abilities if he's not being fed enough, and will make things as difficult for you as he can until you feed him. And apologize.

Potion of Shadow Speech

For one hour after drinking this potion, the user is able to verbally communicate with their shadow. The shadow has no ability to move independently of the user, or in any other way act unlike a normal shadow. (Besides speaking, obviously.) The shadow is not obliged to co-operate with the user, answer the user's questions, be truthful, etc. All of that is up to the GM.


Plumbatae, lead-weighted
darts used by Roman infantry.
From Der Griken en Romeynen krygs-handel
(1675), by Johan van Paffenrode

Hungry Dart

In all appearances, this is a normal dart. However, if it's being fed regularly, it will flutter around and generally act like a bird. Mechanically speaking, the Hungry Dart is a +1 returning dart, with the exception that once it strikes a living creature, it will gradually drain that creature of blood until the creature dies or someone forcibly detaches the Dart (gradually = 1 hp per round). This blood is its “food", and it has to eat daily; if you don't want to stab something with it, you can give it a few drops of your own blood in a dish or something, a la Little Shop of Horrors. If not fed, the Hungry Dart will eventually go into hibernation and appear exactly like a normal, inanimate dart until given blood.

If well fed on a consistent basis, it will gradually grow in size until it is closer to a longspear than a dart. (The GM can determine how quickly it grows and how that affects the damage it does.) At this point, it is advisable to procure another Hungry Dart if you do not already have more than one, as it will become restless and irritable if it does not have a mate at this stage of its life. Yes, they reproduce. It's... not clear how.

The Hungry Dart is about as intelligent as a bird -- not one of the smart birds, like corvids or parrots or what have you, but a normal bird. Its stats are Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8; it has an Ego of 3. It can be trained to a limited extent, and can form an empathic bond with its wielder. If it is properly trained, it is easier to control; rather than doing its own thing and flying about stabbing folk, it will calmly perch on its wielder's shoulder. (It has tiny grabby-feet hidden under its fletching.)

Oh, and that does indeed mean that if you don't train it, you should probably invest in a cage or something, because otherwise it is definitely going to try to stab & drink the blood of passersby / party members / you. It is not naturally obedient any more than, well, a bird.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Class: Verminsoul

Note: This entry is entirely inspired by another player in a D&D one-shot I was part of this past weekend, who decided to phrase “cast a fire spell on the rat swarm" as “fire the rat-ball". As a result of... me being who I am, the visual this called up made me think of a class feature that would let you substitute “rats" for the energy type of any spell, and this is what grew from that.

Note 2: This is the first time I've tried to design a class, so I would appreciate any suggestions on balance and similar.

Sewer Rats, Martin McKenna
A verminsoul is a person who grew up in an environment that was infested with some kind of vermin, and who came to build a stronger connection with them than with sapient beings. Verminsouls are almost always from urban areas, where they bond with those species of vermin that are noticeably more successful in human-settled areas -- rats, pigeons, roaches, that sort of thing. 

Alignment: Any

Hit Die: d6

Starting Wealth: 1d6 x 10 gp

Class Skills: The verminsoul's class skills are Acrobatics (Dex), Appraise (Int), Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Escape Artist (Dex), Fly (Dex), Handle Animal (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge (arcana) (Int), Knowledge (nature)1 (Int), Knowledge (local) (Int), Perception (Wis), Sense Motive (Wis), Stealth (Dex), Survival (Wis), and Swim (Str).

Skill Ranks per Level: 4 + Int modifier

Table: Verminsoul
LevelBABFortRefWillSpecial
1
+0
+0
+0
+2
Cantrips, disease/ poison resistance, familiar,
metamagic substitution, unsettling appearance,
vermin affinity, verminspeech
2
+1
+0
+0
+3
Call vermin 1/day (500 ft.)
3
+2
+1
+1
+3
Locate vermin, vermin's senses 1/day
4
+3
+1
+1
+4
Summon vermin 1/day, verminous aspect
5
+3
+1
+1
+4
Vermin's senses 2/day, wild shape 1/day
6
+4
+2
+2
+5
Call vermin 2/day, verminous eyes 1/day
7
+5
+2
+2
+5
Hybrid form 1/day, vermin's senses 3/day,
verminous aspect
8
+6 / +1
+2
+2
+6
Possess vermin, summon vermin 2/day
9
+6 / +1
+3
+3
+6
Swarm 1/day, vermin's senses at will,
verminous eyes 2/day
10
+7 / +2
+3
+3
+7
Awaken, call vermin (1500 ft.),
verminous aspect, wild shape 2/day
11
+8 / +3
+3
+3
+7
Eyes of the swarm,
vermin's senses (permanent)
12
+9 / +4
+4
+4
+8
Persistence, summon vermin 3/day,
hybrid form 2/day, verminous eyes 2/day
13
+9 / +4
+4
+4
+8
Swarm 2/day, verminous aspect
14
+10 / +5
+4
+4
+9
Call vermin 3/day
15
+11 / +6 / +1
+5
+5
+9
Wild shape 3/day
16
+12 / +7 / +2
+5
+5
+10
Verminous aspect
17
+12 / +7 / +2
+5
+5
+10
Hybrid form 3/day, swarm 3/day
18
+13 / +8 / +3
+6
+6
+11
Call vermin (1 mile)
19
+14 / +9 / +4
+6
+6
+11
Verminous aspect
20
+15 / +10 / +5
+6
+6
+12
Wild shape at will


Brood of Cockroaches, G. Darrow and I. Rabarot
Cantrips (Sp): Verminsouls learn a number of cantrips, or 0-level spells, as noted on Table: Spells below. These spells are cast like any other spell, but they do not consume any slots and may be used again.

Disease / Poison Resistance (Ex): As a result of the lifestyle of a verminsoul, often sharing homes and meals with swarms of their preferred type of vermin, they add their level in verminsoul to any roll meant to resist the effects of poison or disease.

Familiar (Ex): A verminsoul starts with a familiar of their preferred species (see Vermin Affinity). The verminsoul receives a +3 bonus to whichever skill that species has the most ranks in. Otherwise, a verminsoul's familiar follows the same rules as a wizard's familiar. It should be noted, given the short lifespan of many insects and similar, that the familiar of a verminsoul will not die of old age until the verminsoul does.

Metamagic Substitution (Su): Whenever you cast a spell with an elemental component or an energy type (acid, cold, fire, &c.), the energy type is replaced with vermin of your preferred species (see Vermin Affinity). For instance, a rat-affinity verminsoul cannot cast fireball -- instead, they must cast ratball, which is identical except the energy type (fire) is replaced with the energy type (rats). All of these spells do the same amount of damage as their non-verminous counterparts, but the damage is not elemental; rather, it is the damage done by (for instance) a rapidly-expanding sphere of flailing, high-velocity, angry rats.

Any other spell cast by a verminsoul takes on some aspect of their preferred species of vermin, either subtle or overt. For instance, our rat-affinity verminsoul might get a giant rat rather than a horse when they cast mount, emit the smell of rats every time they cast detect thoughts, and so forth. Players of a verminsoul are encouraged to work out these unusual aspects of their spells with the GM.

Unsettling Appearance (Ex): A verminsoul, over the course of their lifelong affinity with their preferred species (see Vermin Affinity), has permanently acquired some of their physical traits. These are purely cosmetic and usually subtle -- maybe your eyes look exactly like those of a pigeon, or you have sharp little rat teeth, or you hide small roach antennae under your hair. You get a +2 bonus to any Intimidate checks directed at other humanoids, but a -2 on any rolls to hide your identity.

Example Vermin
1Ant
2Cat (feral)2
3Centipede
4Cockroach
5Earwig
6Flea
7Fly
8Locust
9Louse
10Mole
11Mosquito
12Pigeon
13Possum
14Raccoon
15Rat
16Seagull
17Silverfish
18Termite
19Tick
20Weevil
Vermin Affinity (Ex): Choose one species of vermin. This does not necessarily mean it has to be of the creature type Vermin; some varieties of animal work just fine, as the category “vermin" in this case is more about human(oid) perception of the matter. Table: Example Vermin contains several potential choices, or can be used to randomize the choice if you so please, but it is by no means the complete list of possibilities. (Check with your GM before choosing.) This chosen species is referred to elsewhere in the entry as your “preferred species".

Vermin / animals of your preferred species are friendly to you by default. In any attempt to influence their behavior, you may add your level in verminsoul to your check. You are able to instinctually seek out members of that species in your area with a Survival check, or understand the behavior and/or body language of that species with a Sense Motive check; you also add your level in verminsoul to these rolls.

Verminspeech (Su): You can communicate with members of your preferred species as if using speak with animals. This ability is always active unless you are intentionally suppressing it or under the effects of some sort of antimagic. With a Perception check, you can also “listen" to any communication between members of your preferred species in the immediate vicinity -- i.e., for anyone else, the pheromones termites leave in the walls are meaningless and largely undetectable, but a termite-affinity verminsoul is able to perceive them and subconsciously translate them into speech, as if they were listening to a conversation in the next room.

Call Vermin (Su): You send out a magical signal, and any vermin of your preferred species in the specified area will travel to your location as quickly as possible.

Army Ants, G. Darrow and I. Rabarot
Locate Vermin (Su)At will, you are able to locate all members of your preferred species within a radius of 50 ft./level.

Vermin's Senses (Su): You have access to the senses (darkvision, scent, &c.) of your preferred species of vermin for one hour. At 11th level and beyond, this is no longer a supernatural ability -- your sense organs adapt to provide this effect naturally.

Summon Vermin (Su): As summon monster, except you always get a giant-sized member of your preferred species, with hit dice equal to half your level.

Verminous Aspect (Ex): Every third level, starting at level 4, you permanently gain one of the following:
  • +1 to whichever ability score is your preferred species' highest.
  • +10ft speed.
  • +5ft speed to a movement type you do not have naturally, but your preferred species does.
  • +2 natural armor.
  • A natural attack that your preferred species has.
  • A special quality or ability that your preferred species has.
This is a physical change, not a magical ability; for instance, cockroach-affinity verminsouls who want a 5ft. fly speed will actually grow insect wings.

Wild Shape (Su): As the druid ability, but you always turn into a member of your preferred species.
Bog Rats, Ron Spencer

Hybrid Form (Su): You are able to change shape into a form that combines aspects of your own anatomy with that of your preferred species. You gain access to: their attacks, scaled up to account for your larger size; their natural armor bonus; their base save and ability bonuses; and any special abilities or qualities, including fly speed, burrow speed, &c. This lasts for 10 minutes/level.

Verminous Eyes (Su): You are able to see through the eyes, hear through the ears, &c. of one member of your preferred species within the radius of your Locate Vermin ability. While you do so, you are required to focus more on the vermin's body than your own, and must roll a Concentration check if interrupted or if you have to move. At the GM's discretion, you may also have to roll Perception checks to keep track of what is going on around your own body.

Possess Vermin (Su): When using Verminous Eyes, you are able to control the movements of the targeted vermin. If you attempt to make them do anything they don't want to do, however, they get a Will save, DC 10 + your verminsoul level, to end the possession.

Swarmyard, Thomas M. Baxa
Swarm (Su): You can dissolve into a swarm of vermin of your preferred species. Your equipment does not change shape with you. The members of the swarm function as a hive mind, and are able to spread out over a radius of 200 ft./level without losing contact. If the members of the swarm have not all congregated in one place by the time the spell ends, you reform at the point where the largest concentration of them is and suffer Con damage proportionate to the amount of swarm members missing. (You're probably also lighter.) You can function as a swarm for 30 minutes/level.

Awaken (Su): You can cast the druid spell awaken on members of your preferred species. There is no limit to how frequently you can do this, but it has the same costs and casting time as the druid version of the spell.

Black Cat, David Palumbo
Eyes of the Swarm (Su): When using Verminous Eyes, you can simultaneously target and control multiple vermin, up to a maximum equal to your verminsoul level. However, you must make a Charisma check in order to establish control over multiple vermin -- DC 10 + number of vermin. You must also make a Wisdom check -- same DC -- each hour you maintain this control in order to successfully process the parallel information streams. You may add your verminsoul level to the check.

Persistence (Su): Instead of vanishing at the end of the spell, any vermin created through Metamagic SubstitutionSummon Vermin, or your magic in general continues to exist as a fully-formed creature. You don't have control over them after the spell ends -- they just scuttle off to do verminous things.

Spells

A verminsoul picks their spells from the sorcerer/wizard spell list. They know their spells instinctually, and do not need to prepare them or keep a spellbook. To cast a spell, a verminsoul must have a Wisdom score equal to at least 10 + the spell level. The DC for a saving throw against a verminsoul's spell is 10 + the spell level + the verminsoul's Wisdom modifier.

Table: Spells
Spells KnownSpells per Day
Lvl0th1st2nd3rd4th5th0th1st2nd3rd4th5th
1
3
1
-
-
-
-
1
-
-
-
-
2
4
2
-
-
-
-
2
-
-
-
-
3
5
3
-
-
-
-
2
-
-
-
-
4
6
4
1
-
-
-
3
1
-
-
-
5
6
4
2
-
-
-
3
2
-
-
-
6
6
4
3
-
-
-
3
2
-
-
-
7
6
4
4
1
-
-
4
3
1
-
-
8
6
5
4
2
-
-
4
3
2
-
-
9
6
5
4
3
-
-
4
3
2
-
-
10
6
5
4
4
1
-
4
4
3
1
-
11
6
5
5
4
2
-
5
4
3
2
-
12
6
6
5
4
3
-
5
4
3
2
-
13
6
6
5
4
4
1
5
4
4
3
1
14
6
6
5
5
4
2
5
5
4
3
2
15
6
6
6
5
4
3
5
5
4
3
2
16
6
6
6
5
4
4
5
5
4
4
3
17
6
6
6
5
5
4
5
5
5
4
3
18
6
6
6
6
5
4
5
5
5
4
3
19
6
6
6
6
5
4
5
5
5
4
4
20
6
6
6
6
5
5
5
5
5
5
4


1 Only applies to vermin.
2 Specified as an attempt to placate any cat lovers who might otherwise be offended. If you're still upset at the idea that feral cats are on the same list as rats, possums, &c., I can only assume you're in denial about the actual impact of free-roaming cats on an area / ecosystem, and there's nothing I can do to help you.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Take Their Stuff: Ogres

Taking a break from the Goblin language file -- which is unusually complicated because I established in the previous Take Their Stuff that “Goblin" is actually three related languages... whoops. So right now I've got a vocab list for Proto-Goblin and a rough draft of the sound changes required to make the three languages. Anyway, I thought I'd take some time off from that and from my other project to do a new Take Their Stuff. The reason I've picked ogres is because of a particularly nonsensical line in the AD&D Monstrous Manual; I'll point it out when I get to it. This time around, I'm going to do a more structured look at the various editions' entries on the monster in question, and hit the major subspecies too, so let's get going.

The Propaganda

As previously established, we're starting with the assumption that everything in the original sources is bullshit colonialist propaganda. One thing to be noted ahead of time is that our opposite-alignment assumption is more flexible this time around, as some ogre subspecies (specifically, the Ogre Mage) are LE even though regular ogres are CE; so these ogres will be Usually Good (any).

AD&D Monstrous Manual -- Ogre

Ogres are big, ugly, greedy humanoids that live by ambushes, raids, and theft. Ill-tempered and nasty, these monsters are often found serving as mercenaries in the ranks of orc tribes, evil clerics, or gnolls. They mingle freely with giants and trolls.
Okay, so we're starting out harsh. Naturally, the propagandists want to immediately tell us they are ugly, greedy, ill-tempered, and nasty. Then the rest is... interesting. It looks like ogres are pretty comfortable with other species -- more so than humans, at any rate -- and primarily work as muscle for smaller folk. (Which, I mean, seems like the natural career choice for people who are naturally bigger and stronger than most groups around them.) Orcs, gnolls, giants, and trolls -- in addition to rhyming, that's a pretty broad range of people to “often" work for or “mingle freely" with. Note also that “mingling freely" with giants is almost presented as a negative here... curious. I also like that ogres work for “evil clerics", which is just asking for some logical fallacies.

“How do you know he's evil?"
Well, he's got ogres working for him, doesn't he?"
Adult ogres stand 9 to 10 feet tall and weigh 300 to 350 pounds. Their skin colors range from a dead yellow to a dull black-brown, and (rarely) a sickly violet. Their warty bumps are often of a different color – or at least darker than their hides. Their eyes are purple with white pupils. Teeth and talons are orange or black. Ogres have long, greasy hair of blackish-blue to dull dark green.
The thing that strikes me here is that these guys are friggin' psychedelic in appearance, even though we never really see that in the illustrations. 

Also, long, greasy hair"? Motherfucker, this is a medieval world. All humanoids have long, greasy hair because haircuts are a low priority and nobody's invented shampoo! Why are you picking on the ogres for it? We can also see that ogres don't have skin" -- real people have skin", after all -- they have hides".
Their odor is repellent, reminiscent of curdled milk.
Okay, so first of all, talking about how an entire people smells is kind of rude. Second, personal odor is often the result of diet, so lots of ogres smelling like old milk probably just means they eat a lot of dairy products. Third -- and I find this pretty funny -- I'm told that “spoiled milk" is actually how white Americans often smell to other cultures, so I guess ogres have a lot in common with... many of the people involved in composing this book that tells us how terrible ogres are. I have to wonder if this line about the way ogres smell is actually a subtle shot some person of color on the writing staff was taking at their white co-workers.
Dressing in poorly cured furs and animal hides, they care for their weapons and armor only reasonably well.
I'm not really sure what only reasonably well" is supposed to mean. There's definitely something sketchy there, but I can't suss it out.
It is common for ogres to speak orc, troll, stone giant, and gnoll, as well as their own guttural language. A typical ogre’s life span is 90 years.
Wait, it's common for ogres to speak five languages? Those are some cosmopolitan people right there, considering that their stats claim they have an average intelligence of 8. I think maybe they're being unfairly categorized there.
Ogre tribes are found anywhere, from deep caverns to mountaintops. Tribes have 16-20 males, 2-12 females, and 2-8 young. Shamans, if present, will be of 3rd level, and have access to the spheres of combat, divination, healing, protection, and sun (darkness only).
Okay, so like goblins, they pretty much live wherever they can -- even though they're big and strong, they have pretty small tribes, so an actual state can displace them easily. Hence why they live in “deep caverns" and “mountaintops" -- but, while it's not stated outright, I bet they tend not to be found on “rich farmland". Also, why the hell does every ogre tribe apparently have more men than women? Are ogre births particularly dangerous or something? 
Ogres live by raiding and scavenging and they will eat anything. Their fondness for elf, dwarf, and halfling flesh means that there is only a 10% chance that these will be found as slaves or prisoners. There is a 30% chance that an ogre lair will include 2-8 slaves. Captured prisoners are always kept as slaves (25%) or food (75%). Extremely avaricious, ogres squabble over treasure and cannot be trusted, even by their own kind.
Yeah, they're slavers and cannibals again. In AD&D, apparently every nonhuman species were slavers and cannibals. (I learned on the 3e books, and only played a few games pre-3e, so some aspects of previous editions seem weirdly foreign to me.) In this particular case, I have no trouble reading this as a bald-faced lie to keep adventurers from parleying with ogres. They can't be trusted, and they want to eat, specifically, the species that traditionally ally with humans. Sure, guys, sure. That sounds legit. Not at all like you're just trying to convince your halfling, elf, and dwarf allies to not risk diplomatic relations with ogres.
Ogres consistently plague mankind, lusting for gold, gems, and jewelry as well as human flesh.
Harsh. And, I'm sorry, are you claiming that humans (or dwarves, for that matter) don't lust for gold, gems, and jewelry"? Oh, I see, that's different? Because...?
They are evil-natured creatures
Read: we don't like 'em
that join with other monsters to prey on the weak
Read: they cooperate with other species, which we consider to be Wrong.
and favor overwhelming odds to a fair fight.
Who doesn't?
Ogres make no crafts nor labor. 
Read: It's okay to kill them because they don't produce goods or capital. Of course, they must make something, even if it's just ogre-sized clothing. And they work as mercenaries, which sounds like labor to me... oh, I'm overthinking this? This is just a line to justify using the wasteland rationale on ogres? Gotcha.

AD&D Monstrous Manual -- Ogre Mage

Not going to spend a whole lot of time on these guys, but:
The oriental ogre has light blue, light green, or pale brown skin with ivory horns. The hair is usually a different color (blue with green, green with blue) and is darker in shade; the main exception to this coloration is found in ogre magi with pale brown skin and yellow hair. They have black nails and dark eyes with white pupils. The teeth and tusks are very white. Ogre magi are taller and more intelligent than their cousins and they dress in oriental clothing and armor.
What is all this “oriental" stuff? Okay, so, we know that the ogre mage is based more on the Japanese oni than anything else, and later versions just straight-up call them Oni anyway. But... why is that relevant within the game? Are the writers just assuming that every campaign world has a pseudo-Japan? I mean, their “Climate/Terrain" is listed as “Any oriental land", for Cthulhu's sake. Leaving that alone, though, getting back into the in-universe writing...

Okay, so other than the smart, magical, and... apparently Japanese.. nature of the ogre mage, a lot of this is pretty much the same as the entry for ogres. (Though apparently ogre magi have much smaller tribes.) A couple things stand out, though:
These monsters are extremely protective of their young and will battle with savage abandon to save one’s life. If a young ogre mage is captured, these creatures will pay high ransom for its return, but they will seek revenge and will never forget the insult of the kidnapping.
Why does this need to be spelled out? That seems like pretty much a standard humanoid mode of behavior. Except the ogre mage's “very particular set of skills" include flight, invisibility, and shapeshifting.

AD&D Monstrous Manual -- Merrow

The aquatic ogre, for the three GMs that ever managed to successfully have an aquatic campaign. Anyway, they're mostly what you'd expect for “ogre but lives underwater":
Faster and fiercer than their land kin, the freshwater merrow are greenish and scaled with webbed hands and feet. Their necks are long and thick, their shoulders are sloping, and they have huge mouths and undershot jaws. Merrow have black teeth and nails and deep green eyes with white centers, and their hair resembles slimy seaweed. About 10% grow ivory horns, especially the more powerful males.
I do like that some of them have horns like the magi. That's neat. Kind of ruined with the note that “especially the more powerful males" get them, though.
Aquatic ogres are very fond of tattoos, and females may have their entire bodies inked with scenes of death and destruction as a sign of status.
Okay, that's badass. That should be standard for all ogres. I mean, really, I think it should be standard for everyone, but that's probably excessive.
In times of scarcity, or when the lure of treasure becomes too great, a war party will attack the coastal villages of man. Merrow prefer gold and jewels and often overlook dull magical items in search of glittering prizes.
Written like human imperialists never attack their neighbors to... um... what was that phrase?
Anyway. So, yeah, it happens. Though given humanity's historical relationship with marine ecosystems and indigenous peoples, I'd bet there's usually a lot of provocation that the “coastal villages of man" are blissfully, intentionally unaware of. 
The goals of a merrow chieftain rule the tribe, and these power-hungry monsters seek to completely control their kingdoms”, often leading to attacks on intruding ships. 
This sounds exactly like the behavior of human states, except filtered through a writer who thinks non-human territorial claims are illegitimate.
Merrow are ignorant and superstitious and have no skills but plundering and murder.
Damn, man, tell them how you really feel. I think we can take this as just straight species-ism with no basis in fact. 
Areas of the freshwater lakes and seas where they have influence are avoided by sailors and fishermen.
Nice of those sailors and fishermen to respect the territorial claims of non-humans. 
These monsters are carnivores, preying on all who enter their regions, often emptying the seas of life with their voracious appetites. 
Emptying the seas of life? That seems a little extreme for a tribe of a few dozen. Maybe the human fishermen just don't like the competition and it's gotten blown out of proportion.

AD&D Monstrous Manual -- Half-Ogre

When adventuring companies journey into the wilderness they often run into ogres; big, ugly humanoids. Occasionally, an ogre party will include one or two individuals that are a little shorter, but significantly smarter, wielding a weapon with more skill than might have been expected. They have a better understanding of their opponents, and they grunt commands that anticipate the adventurers’ moves. In this way half-breeds, the issue of ogres and humans, earn the respect of their kind.
Okay, so, half-ogres. The existence of these guys in sufficient numbers to justify their own MM entry is actually much less... dark... if we're assuming that ogres aren't the chaotic-evil assholes the MM claims them to be. Hey, maybe in the areas far from the centers of state power, where humans and ogres interact, interspecies romance isn't all that uncommon?
You knew a Shrek reference would have to appear in this entry, right?
Anyway...
Half-ogres speak common (more clearly and unimpeded than ogres), ogrish, orcish, troll, and one other, usually human, language. They live about 110 years.
So, longer lifespans than either humans OR ogres. That's hybrid vigor for you. Also, just a random shot there at ogres not being able to speak common clearly... maybe it's because it's their sixth language. How many do you speak, bucko?
Half-ogres posses infravision out to 60 feet. Their sense of smell is better than an ogre’s, but it falls short of a human’s.
Wait, do ogres have a limited sense of smell? I don't think that's been referred to anywhere else.
Half-ogres have no society of their own. If they live with ogres, they are the quick-thinking members of the tribe, ever on their toes to prove themselves worthy. If a half-ogre is reared in a human community, he learns to live with suspicion and fear, and often turns to a military or solitary occupation.
Ah, human communities. So tolerant of difference. Speaking of human communities and their half-breeds, the following is the line I called out as “particularly nonsensical" earlier:
Sages have expressed much concern over the years, wondering why ogres can interbreed with humans but not with elves or halflings. When the actual answer was discovered, the sages’ concerns proved unfounded. The explanation had nothing to do with any supposed common origin of humans and ogres, but rather in a unusual characteristic that ogres share with orcs: rapidly adaptive biology. Just as orcs and ogres can adapt quickly to any terrain, from forests to the highest mountains, their genetic construction allows them breed with any humanoid race. 
Read that again. They not only don't answer the question, but add additional reasoning as to why their answer doesn't work

“Why can ogres interbreed with humans but not with elves or halflings?"
Oh, they have adaptive biology and can breed with any humanoid race."
Right, so...  why can ogres interbreed with humans but not with elves or halflings?"

The whole paragraph reads like they're trying to cover something up. Especially that specific denial that ogres and humans definitely don't have a common origin. So I have a theory. Ogres aren't some other species that can inexplicably interbreed with humans: ogres are part human already. (Which is why they have such difficulty breeding with elves and halflings -- it's technically possible, but the odds are way longer than with other humans.)

So what's the other half? Well, ogres have the Giant creature type... and there is such a thing as half-giants. Kind of. See, in official D&D material, half-giants are specific to the Dark Sun setting, and they've never really properly percolated over to the rest of the mythology -- probably because Dark Sun was psionics-heavy, so half-giants used psionics, and nobody really wants to deal with the headache of psionics. I've put a few non-psionic half-giants in my campaign world, but they inevitably end up being rare because they're a pain to stat up and too powerful to use as a PC race.1

So here's my explanation for the rarity of half-giants and the whole ogre situation: ogres are half-giants. The two terms are the same, but have radically different prestige levels. If you're high-born, and impressive-looking, and manage not to be ostracized by your community growing up, you get to be called “half-giant". It also depends on what kind of giant, of course. Being able to claim your father was a cloud giant is social currency, but if your father was a hill giant, you probably wouldn't want that getting out.

Top to bottom: cloud giant, stone giant, hill giant.
From the 3rd edition Monster Manual.
Since it's so incredibly rare for someone with giant heritage to be accepted into xenophobic human society, the children resulting from such unions are usually given to the giant parents -- or, depending on how xenophobic the particular community is, exposed on a mountainside. This tendency is only reinforced by the high mortality rate among human mothers of half-giant children... for, you know, obvious reasons. (Maybe this has something to do with the weird gender proportions in ogre tribes? It's still unusually difficult even if both parents are ogres?)

Half-giants raised outside of human society, or kicked out of human society, are referred to as “ogres". They often form their own tribes, as they don't really fit into giant society either -- like, literally, everything's built for people much bigger than them and it's inconvenient, so they prefer to get together with other ogres and build homes and tools at ogre scale. (Maybe this is why ogre tribes have weird gender proportions? The male ogres are more likely to feel insecure about being tiny and go off to do their own thing? I like that better than making ogre birth difficult.)

Over time, people who don't live on the frontiers have forgotten that ogres are just human/giant hybrids, or that “half-ogre" is a silly name for someone who is a quarter-giant. It doesn't help that the ogre tendency to form their own tribes has led to a lot of crossbreeding, so the ogre gene pool has bits and pieces of every type of giant in there somewhere, preventing any of the really-identifiable giant traits from standing out.

One last bit from the AD&D Monstrous Manual before we move on:
The half-ogre shares the ogre’s place in the ecosystem: that of a plague upon demihumans and humans, lusting for treasure and making neither crafts nor good labor. The beginnings of half-ogre poetry have been around for many years, but it is exceptionally ugly and disturbing.
Good gods, the humans-as-colonialist-villains setting practically writes itself. If I thought anyone would buy it, I'd already be writing up a gigantic sourcebook for it. 

3e Monster Manual

Ogre from the 3e Monster Manual
The 3e Monster Manual is a heavily-condensed version of the AD&D entry, which I find annoying. Put some damn detail into your monsters! The only major change is that ogre mages are no longer “oriental" monsters with their own thing going on, but are a subtype of ogre that often takes a leadership role among regular ogres -- and if they're aware of any other ogre mages in the area, they're more likely to cultivate a rivalry than join them. That actually fits my version of ogres way better -- ogre magi are ogres born with a stronger connection to the giant side of their heritage, and can actually access a handful of their supernatural abilities. If I were to stat up ogre magi, I would take away their default set of spells and have each ogre mage roll a certain number of times on a table that contained all the abilities of different types of giant.

Also, one more thing about ogre magi -- I object to the illustration they get in 3e. It's done by the same guy who did the 3e bugbear (you can pop back to the Bugbear section at the bottom of the previous Take Their Stuff if you don't remember the picture), and it looks like he followed the same formula and made it a giant musclebound hulk. That just... really doesn't capture the flavor of the monster, and seems painfully unimaginative. Here's the picture:
See what I mean? It's just all big, veiny muscles. 

Pathfinder Bestiary -- Ogre

Stories are told of ogres—horrendous stories of brutality and savagery, cannibalism and torture. Of rape and dismemberment, necrophilia, incest, mutilation, and all manners of hideous murder. Those who have not encountered ogres know the stories as warnings. Those who have survived such encounters know these tales to be tame compared to the truth.
 Holy crap. That's just... messed up. The propagandists are taking their libel to new heights here.
An ogre revels in the misery of others. When smaller races aren’t available to crush between meaty fists or defile in blood-red lusts of violence, they turn to each other for entertainment. Nothing is taboo in ogre society.
Good lord. Okay, well, we can take one thing from this -- our version of ogres can be anarchists with few societal taboos. Actually, if we keep the interpretation that ogre tribes are formed by ogres who leave giant society to form their own small communities, we can envision an ogre settlement as having kind of the same vibe as a frat house. Lots of young, male ogres partying and being irresponsible. That's actually kind of a fun idea.
One would think that, left to themselves, an ogre tribe would quickly tear itself apart, with only the strongest surviving in the end—yet if there is one thing ogres respect, it is family.
 Okay, so that's nice.
Ogre tribes are known as families, and many of their deformities and hideous features arise from the common practice of incest.
Never mind.

Actually, we can reinterpret that. Fraternities and sororities refer to their members as “brothers" and “sisters" -- maybe ogre communities do a similar thing, which has led humans to believe that all the members of the community are literally related, and therefore assume that the relationships within the community are all incestuous.
Regions inhabited by ogres are dreary, ugly places, for these giants dwell in squalor and see little need to live in harmony with their environment.
Pot calling the kettle black there, humans.
The borderland between civilization and ogre territory is a desperate realm of outcasts and despair, for here dwell the ogrekin, the deformed offspring and results of frequent ogre raids against the lands of the smaller folk.
The “ogrekin" are Pathfinder's version of the half-ogres. Admittedly, they're more interesting than the previous incarnations of the half-ogre, because ogrekin have to roll on Deformity tables, with beneficial or detrimental results, which is not a bad idea. Anyway, obviously ogres are also outcasts, and ogrekin are also ogres by any definition of the term, since we're saying ogres are all humanoid / giant crossbreeds.
Ogre games are violent and cruel, and victims they use for entertainment are lucky if they die the first day. Ogres’ cruel senses of humor are the only way their crude minds show any spark of creativity, and the tools and methods of torture ogres devise are always nightmarish.
 Again, just... wow. The people behind Pathfinder have much darker, more dramatic imaginations than their D&D predecessors.
Oni, Pathfinder Bestiary
An ogre’s great strength and lack of imagination makes it particularly suited for heavy labor, such as mining, forging, and clearing land, and more powerful giants (particularly hill giants and stone giants) often subjugate ogre families to serve them in such regards.
Bet you a gold piece that humans also enslave ogres for heavy labor. Actually, for that matter, why would stone giants, who are much bigger and stronger than ogres, want to use ogres for hard labor? I think it's much more likely that it's humans doing this.

Skipping the ogre mage -- as mentioned, in Pathfinder, the ogre mage is rewritten as an Oni. So it's not actually an ogre, just a type of demon that prefers to take ogre form when it shows up in the material world. And there are other kinds of oni that do other things. They look cool, though.

Pathfinder Bestiary 2 -- Ogrekin

So here's material from the Ogrekin template -- i.e., the half-ogre.
At their most merciful, ogrekin prefer to take living captives that they treat with widely varied levels of hospitality. 
Is it just me, or does that carry very little information? Their treatment of captives varies widely? This statement would provide zero help for someone preparing to interact with ogrekin.
Ogrekin are rarely encountered in settlements, though they often prowl close to a town’s fence or city’s gate, waiting for unsuspecting travelers. This lonely existence leads many ogrekin to tame and train wild animals, a practice ogrekin take to with ease by quickly establishing dominance over beasts with their prodigious physical strength. These pets form resilient bonds with their masters and remain fiercely protective even after their owners’ death.
That's friggin' adorable. Ogre communities have pets now, in my world. Loyal animals from species that usually aren't domesticated.
The few ogrekin who have found acceptance into more civilized groups are often used as dispensable tools, sent out as the first lines of defense to deal with potential troublemakers. 
Man, it's a good thing we civilized types aren't anything like those awful monsters, amirite?

The Rewrite

“Ogre" is the term used by humans to describe the results of crossbreeding between humanoids and giants.2 In theory, this can be any type of humanoid, but in practice, it's usually humans. The results of such crossbreeding are rarely accepted in human society -- those rare few who are accepted are always referred to as “half-giants", never “ogres". The vast majority of these half-breeds are cast out or sent to live with their giant parent.

However, being an ogre in a giant community is rough. First, big as ogres are in comparison to humans, giants are much bigger. The ogre kind of has to get used to being the runt, and usually is born without any access to the innate magics many giants have, further setting them apart. Plus there's the whole lifespan thing -- most species of giant are much longer-lived than your average ogre, probably because of the aforementioned innate magic. As a result, it's not uncommon for ogres (usually young male ogres) to decide to strike out and live on their own. 

Hulking Ogre, Greg & Tim Hildebrandt
Centuries of ogres making that decision has led to a number of semi-permanent ogre communities scattered through the hills. (These communities usually have a significant male majority, as female ogres are more likely to adapt to living with their giant family.) The existence of ogre communities has allowed humans to pretend “ogre" is a separate species living out in the wilderness somewhere, and intentionally forget that those communities originally were founded by, and probably are still populated by, outcasts from human society. The further one lives from border regions where humans, giants, and ogres might actually interact, the less likely one is to be aware of where ogres really come from.

Combat

When in conflict with humanoids, ogres try to quickly overwhelm their opponents with their great strength. They don't really trust the concept of a “fair fight", because that's usually code for “let the humans outnumber you and get into strategic position". Instead, they try to avoid combat unless they're certain they can win, at which point they're liable to strike with overwhelming force.

Society

An ogre community is a celebration of freedom and self-discovery; at any given time, a not-insignificant portion of the population are ogres who have left a giant tribe behind. As a result, they cultivate a certain uninhibited nature that humans find off-putting. Ogre communities have no laws and few taboos; usually the ogre who has earned the most personal respect settles any disputes, and that's that.

Ghazbán Ogress, Mike Raabe
The head ogre, who doesn't have any official title, can really be anyone. In some communities, the eldest members tend to run things -- in others, it's the person who can take anyone else in a fight. If an ogre mage is present, they're almost always in charge. In a fairly large proportion of ogre communities, however, matriarchy has taken hold; the fact that ogre communities are majority-male, often by a sizable margin, means that the few women present are able to wield a large amount of influence -- and sometimes it's wielded with enough success that the rest of the community accepts that the women run things. Hence, matriarchy.

As implied by the lack of any official government or hierarchy, personal prestige is critical to an ogre. They will perform daring deeds and feats of strength in order to win fame, taking any opportunity to prove themselves. (Part of this, of course, is a slight Napoleon complex in those who grew up around giants.) It is very common among ogres to have elaborate tattoos depicting their achievements; in fact, tattooing is the art form that the ogres have most thoroughly developed. 

Ogre Recluse, Jim Murray
Ogres, unlike some hybrid species, are not sterile, and are fully capable of reproducing with humanoids or giants -- reproducing with species of humanoid or giant other than the ones they were originally born from is somewhat failure-prone, but technically possible. Due to the complications inherent in this sort of thing -- cultural barriers; issues of scale; human xenophobia; difficulties inherent in impressing a potential partner who is three times your height, will live six times as long as you, and can throw lightning bolts -- any ogres who join an ogre community are much more likely to have children with other ogres. This constant mixing of heritage from so many different species of giant and humanoid gives ogres a wide variety of appearances, even within the same community; humans, for some reason, scorn these varied appearances as incest-related deformities.3 

Of course, some ogres never do join communities of their fellows. Many are able to live happily among the giants, and others make their own solitary way in the world. This latter group is usually encountered as hired muscle, since the intimidating build of an ogre is the easiest thing for them to trade on. Ogres with class levels tend to be barbarians or rangers, with the occasional druid here and there.

Ecology

Ogres are generally found on the frontier of human lands, regardless of the terrain. For obvious reasons, the natural habitat of an ogre is anywhere that humans and giants might mingle.They are omnivorous, and generally acquire their food by whatever means the nearest tribe of giants uses -- since it's likely that many ogres in the community actually grew up in the tribe.

Gray Ogre, Dan Frazier
Ogres are comfortable with hunting, scavenging, and foraging, but occasionally need to engage in trade and commerce. Since they don't usually produce trade goods beyond what they need for themselves, and their most developed form of art is done on their own skin,4 the community usually brings in money by hiring themselves out as muscle. In desperate times, they will raid human settlements. Since they're aware of how humans see them, they don't have any particular ethical issue with conducting these raids; they just don't do it often because of the risk of retaliation.

Any solitary ogre or ogre community is likely to have trained animals. Ogres have a habit of keeping pets, usually large species of animals that aren't really thought of as domesticated, but that the ogres have adopted into their family. Ogre pets are extremely loyal, and recognize the ogre community as their own pack. The bond ogres form with their animals prevents them from raising livestock for meat -- however, ogres do love cheese, so they often keep livestock for purposes of milking. Ogre cheese is generally avoided by more squeamish humanoids -- beyond the fact that it's made by ogres, the indiscriminate nature of ogre animal-husbandry means that it's often some type of cheese utterly foreign to the local humanoids. People are surprisingly reluctant to try, for instance, moose cheese.

Merrow

There are aquatic humanoids. There are aquatic giants. Therefore, aquatic ogres. I don't think more needs to be said.


Ogre Mage
There is a 1% chance of any given ogre being born an ogre mage. The child of an ogre mage has a 5% chance of inheriting magehood; the child of two ogre magi has a 25% chance.
Those individuals whom the humans call “ogre magi" are actually ogres who were born with a stronger connection to the giant side of their ancestry. This is unpredictable -- pretty much just a genetic lottery of recessive traits -- but the children of ogre magi are often ogre magi themselves. What exactly their abilities are varies widely; any power or ability a true giant has can theoretically be inherited by an ogre mage.

Due to their greater power, ogre magi are nearly always the head of their ogre community. It is, sadly, not uncommon for this authority to go to the mage's head and lead them to do foolish things like carry on elaborate rivalries with other ogre magi, or count coup against the humans just for shits and giggles.

To create an ogre magi, start with the stats for a standard ogre and do the following:

Step 1. Increase all stats except Intelligence by 1d6, rolling each stat separately. Increase Intelligence by 3d6. (Alternately, boost ogres to average-ish intelligence across the board and increase ogre-mage Int by 2d6.) Ogre mages are stronger, smarter, and all around more naturally gifted than their fellows, but the degree to which they receive these gifts varies from mage to mage.

Step 2. Advance the ogre by at least 1 HD -- more if you want this ogre mage to be a higher-level threat.

Step 3. Give the ogre mage Resistance 5 to one elemental type of your choice and Regeneration 5.

Step 4. Lengthen the ogre's lifespan. Ogre mages can live as long as your plot needs them to, but if you want to randomly determine it, roll 3d6 and multiply the result by 50. Note that the upper end of this range is longer than any known species of giant -- again, that's hybrid vigor for you.

Step 5. Roll once on each of the tables under “Appearance". Ogre magi are significantly different in appearance from other ogres and from each other.

Appearance of the Ogre Mage
    Ogre Savant, Paolo Parente
Skin (d20)
  1. Blood-red
  2. Flame-orange
  3. Grass-green
  4. Jade-green
  5. Jet-black
  6. Like treebark
  7. Metallic bronze
  8. Metallic gold
  9. Night-blue
  10. Pale, glows like moonlight
  11. Perfectly adapted for camouflage in the local environment
  12. Reflective
  13. Same color as other ogres in the community
  14. Sea-green
  15. Scales
  16. Shiny and black like obsidian
  17. Slate-gray
  18. Snow-white
  19. Striated like a rock face
  20. Oni, 5e Monster Manual
  21. Sun-yellow
Eyes (d10)
  1. Blank white
  2. Blue
  3. Glowing
  4. Iridescent
  5. Like sunken pits in the face
  6. Pink
  7. Purple
  8. Red
  9. Silver
  10. Yellow
Hair (d12)
  1. Blonde
  2. Blue-black
  3. Completely hairless
  4. Flame-red
  5. Like copper wire
  6. Normal, but grows leaves
  7. Pale blue
  8. Pale green
  9. Pink
  10. Shimmering and metallic
  11. Silver
  12. Violet
Other (d12)
Ogre Shaman, Paolo Parente
  1. Born with runic tattoos
  2. Drools paralyzing venom
  3. Fur -- thick, gray, and lupine
  4. Gills (amphibious)
  5. Huge, gnarled tusks
  6. Ice crystals constantly form on their skin
  7. Ivory horns
  8. Long, thin nose
  9. Second, functional head
    • 50% chance the heads have separate personalities
  10. Single eye in the middle of their forehead
  11. Skin hangs loose in folds
  12. Third, functional arm in the middle of their chest
Step 6. Roll six times on the “Powers" table below. All of the spell-like abilities on this list are something that some type of giant in 2e, 3e, or Pathfinder actually had, though I've dialed down the frequency on many of them. This, in my mind, makes more sense -- there's no set of powers that all ogre magi have, but instead they inherit some grab-bag of powers from giant ancestors. The ogre mage uses these abilities as if they were a caster with levels equal to their hit dice, and all save DCs are 10 + Int bonus + spell level.

Powers of the Ogre Mage (d100)

  1. Detect Magic 3/day
  2. Detect Poison 3/day
  3. Enlarge Person 1/day
  4. Fool's Gold 1/day
  5. Reduce Person 1/day
  6. Sculpt Corpse 1/day
  7. Bless 3/day
  8. Charm Animal 3/day
  9. Charm Person 3/day
  10. Detect Animals or Plants 3/day
  11. Endure Elements 3/day
  12. Entangle 3/day
  13. Protection From [alignment] 3/day
  14. Can summon and converse with dead ancestors 1/week
  15. Pass Without Trace at will
  16. Animal Messenger 1/day
  17. Blistering Invective 1/day
  18. Make Whole 1/day
  19. Spike Growth 1/day
  20. Tree Shape 1/day
  21. Animate Dead 1/week
  22. Augury 3/day
  23. Blur 3/day
  24. Cure Moderate Wounds 3/day
  25. Death Knell 3/day
  26. Eagle Eye 3/day
  27. Fog cloud 3/day
  28. Levitate 3/day
  29. Spider Climb 3/day
  30. Suggestion 3/day
  31. Scrying 1/week
  32. Call Lightning 1/day
  33. Clairaudience / Clairvoyance 1/day
  34. Summon Monster III 1/day
  35. Wall of Mist 1/day
  36. Darkness at will
  37. Gust of Wind at will
  38. Heat Metal at will
  39. Ironskin (constant)
  40. Speak with Animals at will
  41. Alter Self 1/week -- indefinite duration
  42. Baleful Polymorph 1/week
  43. Commune 1/week
  44. Cone of Cold 1/week
  45. Dream 1/week
  46. Passwall 1/week
  47. Summon Monster V 1/week -- can only summon a Large elemental (choose type when creating ogre mage)
  48. Wall of Thorns 1/week
  49. Aqueous Orb 3/day
  50. Bestow Curse 3/day

  1. Contagion 3/day
  2. Daylight 3/day
  3. Fireball 3/day -- cold damage instead of fire
  4. Gaseous Form 3/day
  5. Quench 3/day
  6. Speak with Plants 3/day
  7. Stone Shape 3/day
  8. Commune with Nature 1/day
  9. Confusion 1/day
  10. Control Water 1/day
  11. Divination 1/day
  12. Hold Monster 1/day
  13. Ice Storm 1/day
  14. Plague Carrier 1/day
  15. Shout 1/day
  16. Wall of Ice 1/day
  17. Chain Lightning 1/week
  18. Stone Tell 1/week
  19. Wall of Iron 1/week
  20. Animate Plants 1/week
  21. Animate Stone 1/week
  22. Control Undead 1/week
  23. Lunar Veil 1/week
  24. Vortex 1/week
  25. Waves of Exhaustion 1/week
  26. Control Vermin at will
  27. Water Breathing at will
  28. Control Winds 1/day
  29. Dominate Person 1/day
  30. Flame Strike 1/day
  31. Transmute Mud to Rock (or Rock to Mud) 1/day
  32. Tree Stride 1/day
  33. True Seeing 1/day
  34. Air Walk 3/day
  35. Modify Memory 3/day
  36. Demand 1/week
  37. Earthquake 1/week
  38. Mass Charm Monster 1/day
  39. Move Earth 1/day
  40. Plague Storm 1/day
  41. Wither Limb 1/day
  42. Polar Midnight 1/week
  43. Freedom of Movement, constant
  44. Control Weather 1/day
  45. Summon Nature's Ally VII 1/day
  46. Harm 3/day
  47. Heal 3/day
  48. Sunburst 1/day
  49. Change one ability to at will" or constant"
  50. Roll twice

Sample Ogre Mage (rolled using the rules above & the Pathfinder ogre stats)


Duruhsiunig and Hantzugiling, Ogre Mage(s)
CR 6, XP 2400
CG Large humanoid (giant)
Init –1; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, all-around vision; Perception +3

Defense

AC 18, touch 9, flat-footed 18 (+4 armor, +5 natural, –1 size)
Hasran Ogress, Dan Frazier
hp 45 (5d8+20)
Fort +9, Ref +2, Will +4
Special: Regeneration 5

Offense

Speed 30 ft.
Melee dagger +10 (1d6+10)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
Spell-like Abilities:
     at will -- Speak with Animals
     3/day -- Bestow Curse, Heal
     1/day -- Animal Messenger
     1/week -- True Seeing, Commune


Statistics

Str 27, Dex 11, Con 19, Int 18, Wis 11, Cha 11
Base Atk +6; CMB +12; CMD 22
Feats Iron Will, Skill Focus (sense motive), Toughness
Skills Bluff +4, Diplomacy +4, Handle Animal +3, Sense Motive +7, Survival +3, Perception +3
Languages Giant, Common, Gnoll, Orc, Goblin

Duruhsiunig and Hantzugiling have/has been the matriarch(s) of their community for over 100 years, and they still appear fairly young. Their skin is green as jade, and their hair a complementary shade of blue. Their eyes are gleaming, yellow, and constantly suspicious. Oh, and they're two heads on the same body with separate personalities.

Ettin, 3e Monster Manual
Hantzugiling controls the left side of the body, and maintains a love for the natural world that verges on crunchy-granola-stereotype. Given her druthers, she would devote all of her time to caring for the community's growing herds of livestock, or walking through the wilderness. Much of “her" half of the body is decorated with floral tattoos and stylized images of animals.

Duruhsiunig controls the right side of the body, and is deeply spiritual. By her commands, the community has built a pretty nice temple, and she tries to spend as much time as possible there in contemplation. “Her" half of the body sports a forehead tattoo of the holy symbol of Volkmar, god of fame and strength, as well as a collection of more traditional tattoos of her achievements and the deeds she has done in Volkmar's name.

Of course, neither Hantzugiling nor Duruhsiunig gets to spend a lot of time doing what they really want, because they are so frequently called to put out fires (metaphorically... well, usually metaphorically) in the community. A couple dozen ogres are living in D/H's community at any given time, and call on them to settle every argument and dispute. They also must constantly be on the lookout for potential attacks by humans or other large, organized groups. And, finally, the one thing they always agree on -- they have to prove that they are superior to Geginsahho, an ogre mage who lives in a community elsewhere in the hills. This rivalry has been going for decades with no clear reason other than the insistence of D/H that “he's just such a dick".

On the rare occasion that D/H's community is attacked by outside forces, D/H primarily plays a support role, shouting tactical advice as she bestows curses upon the enemy and heals any seriously-wounded ogres. D/H's community is always extremely well-prepared for any coming attack, as D/H always makes sure to include questions about imminent dangers in her weekly commune.


1 For instance, in a seafaring campaign, the ship's captain was a quarter-giant named ARGUS VON SNAGGABRUST who had NO VOLUME CONTROL and some UNCOMFORTABLY KIPLING-ESQUE VIEWS on what explorers should be doing. I'd originally planned for his mother to be an ocean giant, but I had to change that to his grandmother because a half-giant would be too big and powerful by the only rules I'd managed to dig up.
2 It usually involves some sort of magic to get the two participants to compatible sizes.
3 If you want to emphasize this, you could use Pathfinder's table of ogrekin deformities, or ogre subtypes.
4 It's rare, but not unheard of, for a non-ogre to trade for the services of an ogre tattoo artist.