D100 table: Unusual Properties of the Item Dug Up Outside Town

1. Hums softly
2. Faint glow
3. Warm to the touch
4. Cool to the touch
5. Engraved with images of unfamiliar creatures
6. Occasionally whispers to itself
7. Produces tactile “squirming” sensation
8. Slowly corrodes anything it touches
9. Makes no noise when struck against solid object
10. Completely indestructible
11. Hovers 1mm above ground
12. Smells of smoke
13. Tastes like lemons
14. Looks exactly the same from every angle, despite not being radially symmetrical (the mickey-mouse-ears effect)
15. Is never quite where you left it
16. Appears in dreams
17. Has the wrong texture
18. Chooses an “owner” -- anyone who tries to remove it from owner’s possession dies suddenly, mysteriously, messily
19. 1 in 50 chance it is next to you when you wake up
20. Counts as “alive” for all relevant spell effects
21. Leaves indelible marks on anything it stays in contact with for over an hour
22. Slightly different weight day to day
23. Attracts insects
24. Has a heartbeat
25. Humanoids/animals/vermin/etc. bleed when they touch it
26. Casts no shadow
27. Casts extra shadow
28. Shadow is not shaped like it
29. People have a hard time remembering it exists
30. Faint smell of carrion
31. Animals won’t go near it
32. Eats insects when nobody is looking
33. Always appears to be in shadow regardless of actual lighting
34. Intermittently covered in ice
35. Steams in cold weather
36. Never touches water -- fate/probability distort to ensure this
37. Secretes blood
38. Secretes hallucinogens
39. Secretes contact poison
40. Looks slightly different to all observers
41. Invariably falls out of any container
42. Impossible to sleep within 50 ft.
43. Looks vaguely familiar; isn’t
44. Looks vaguely familiar; is (retroactively inserts itself into random PC’s past)
45. Eats gold
46. All nearby fires burn green
47. Causes headaches
48. In telepathic communication with random NPC
49. All wounds inflicted in its presence leave horrific scars
50. Spontaneously generates 1d12 spiders/day
51. Acts as voodoo doll vs. random NPC
52. Conversations held within 5 ft. of item sound like gibberish to outside observers
53. Illusory moths infest 1-mile radius
54. Occasionally radiates light in colors for which we have no name
55. Carries disease
56. All sounds echo in its presence
57. Smells strongly of rat -- predictable effects on local animal population
58. Extinguishes non-magical fire on contact
59. Forces DC 5 fortitude save whenever it contacts bare flesh -- upon failure, 3 cubic inches of flesh turn into whatever material the item is made of; daily fortitude saves necessary to keep contagion from spreading to rest of body
60. Fungus growth triples within 200 ft
61. Animals within 1 mile born without eyes
62. Humanoids within 1 mile born without eyes
63. Anyone standing within 20 ft sees an alien sky if they look up
64. Burns white-hot if touched by anyone with royal bloodline
65. Grows back if damaged
66. Takes semi-liquid form when not in contact with living flesh
67. Spoils food at twenty paces
68. Intermittently invisible
69. Plants within 5 ft die (saving throws at GM’s discretion)
70. Falls through air as if it is water; falls through water as if it is air
71. Gravity works at 1-degree angle for item
72. Cannot be drawn or otherwise visually reproduced
73. Impossible to describe when not looking at it
74. Highly magnetic
75. Everyone within 5 ft has constant sensation of insects crawling all over them
76. No air in a 1 ft radius
77. Feeling of euphoria on contact
78. Emits smell connected with observer’s worst memory
79. Bizarre antipathy towards birds (GM chooses how this manifests)
80. Always surrounded by winds
81. 50% of observers find it deeply comical; 50% find it unnervingly sinister; neither group can explain feeling; flip coin for each new observer
82. Once per day, random passing animal/vermin pays it obeisance
83. Infested by ghostly worms
84. Extrudes spiderwebs
85. Has engraving / painting / sculpture / other image of an inhuman visage; all observers agree it looks exactly like the Emperor. This property manifests whether or not this country actually has an emperor. If country does have an emperor, anyone who has seen the item regards all other visual representations of the Emperor as poor likenesses; if they meet the Emperor in person, they believe him to be an imposter.
86. 75% of observers claim the item reminds them of a favored relative or childhood friend they hadn’t thought about for years; third-party investigation reveals that none of these people exist.
87. Item magically kills all vermin with exoskeletons within 500 ft, animates said exoskeletons as undead. The undead exoskeletons behave normally, and only close investigation or relevant spells reveal the difference.
88. All observers agree on what the item is called; cannot explain source of this information
89. All observers agree item is rightful property of random PC/NPC; cannot explain source of this information
90. 1% chance any lie told in its presence becomes true via distortion of reality; does not function in presence of anyone aware of this trait
91. 25% of observers believe it to be intelligent
92. Any writing composed within 200 ft. has random words in dead language scattered throughout
93. Provokes Gollum Effect in owner
94. Roll again; selected property applies to owner as well
95. Roll again; selected property activates and deactivates at worst possible times
96. Intelligence (animal level); roll again
97. Intelligence (human level); roll again
98. Intelligence (superhuman level); roll again
99. Roll twice; reroll contradictions
100. Roll three times; reroll contradictions